Having a baby inevitably changes the social life of the new mother. It becomes more difficult to maintain friendships, due to the lack of time and also of common aspects in the new scenario of motherhood. The result is usually a feeling of loneliness that harms the mother's well-being.
From the Nurturing the Sisterhood blog, maternity therapist Julie Franks notes that it is common to experience a lot of support from family and friends in the first weeks after the baby arrives. But this is gradually decreasing and resulting in social isolation.
Therefore, the expert recommends making new friends with other mothers, seeking connection, support and community. In addition, she emphasizes that making other friends who are mothers contributes to improving the mental health of mothers and reduces the risk of suffering from postpartum anxiety and depression. So, she compiles five tips for making new friends who are mothers.
To make a new friend you must expose yourself, encourage yourself to take the initiative. This may spark shame, discomfort, or fear of rejection, but keep in mind that “other moms are looking for mom friends too,” Franks emphasizes. So take the step to reach out, say hello, exchange phone numbers, and invite the other person to meet again.
Although social networks make it much easier to meet new people, the expert recommends connecting in person. Getting out of the house helps reduce loneliness, and you're likely to make different friends than you would find online, as they will be people who frequent the same spaces, such as the park or a public library.
If what you are looking for is a lasting friendship, look for a friend with things in common. Take into account factors such as the age of your children, work situation, lifestyle, personal tastes, location and financial situation, as all of this will facilitate not only a connection in the present, but one that is maintained in the future. future and make it easier to make plans together. “There will never be someone who is ‘perfect’ and ‘checks all the boxes,’ but these are some things to consider when looking for a long-term friend,” the therapist notes.
The expert explains that the women you meet when you are focused on finding a friend who also has a newborn can surprise you. The shared experience of motherhood can bring you together: “it's helpful to be open-minded about meeting different types of women that you may have chosen as friends in the past.”
You may approach a mother, introduce yourself, and suggest meeting your children to play, and the attempt may not go well. This is part of the process, since we cannot always fit well with the other person. “Focus your energy on the moms you want to develop a deeper friendship with,” Dr. Franks concludes.
