Although it is natural that certain disagreements arise and that not everything is a bed of roses, the partner should be that person with whom one feels relaxed and safe. Someone to trust, who provides support and who transmits affection and well-being. But if your partner makes you feel bad, something is not working as it should. At first, you may not be able to describe that feeling more precisely, it is something ambiguous, but it is there. And that should not be ignored or let go. In this case, the first thing will be to identify exactly what this discomfort consists of.
You have to pay attention to that feeling and analyze the sensations it provokes. If you do things that you don't want or don't feel like doing so that your partner doesn't get upset or angry, you may be being manipulated. If the feeling is one of shame and inferiority, perhaps it exerts humiliating attitudes on you. If you feel that the other person controls the direction of your life, control. If you perceive that your opinion or emotions do not matter, it could be invalidation. In any case, we must act.
These types of situations usually happen in couples that are unbalanced, that is, when one person adopts a position of superiority over the other. Something that, in turn, could have to do with its personality, especially in individuals with egocentric, selfish and narcissistic traits.
But this is also influenced by the personality of the person who suffers from it, generally, people with low self-esteem or self-confidence and other types of varied attachment situations, such as fear of rejection. This can be taken advantage of by the other part of the couple to place themselves in an advantageous position, something common in toxic relationships.
Complaints or criticisms about your personality, your way of thinking or your emotions, teasing, blackmail, lack of emotional responsibility and, of course, insults, are ways in which a person makes their partner feel bad.
The first step is to stand up, not let it go and start setting limits, since these behaviors cannot continue to be repeated. And to achieve this, you will have to adopt assertive communication with that person, talking about the behaviors and attitudes that make you feel bad and that need to change.
Depending on the case, this situation may or may not have a solution, so something that must be done in parallel is to prepare to stop being afraid of the breakup, since it could be inevitable. And, at the same time, work on yourself and develop essential self-esteem and confidence to identify this type of behavior and set limits at the moment.
