She said that health restrictions have taken away many of the things that help people cope with the loss, including visits to the Wisconsin hospital and a large funeral filled with tears and hugs. Brown was left to cope with her grief on her own and is having difficulty seeing a way forward.
Brown is one of the many people who may be suffering from prolonged grief. Experts say that this type of mourning can make it difficult for people to move beyond the death experience and function normally again.
Brown said, "It's one of the most terrible things to endure." "I wouldn't wish this on anyone."
Expert on grief Natalia Skritskaya said that it was too soon to know if prolonged grieving (also known as complicated grieving) will become a problem from the pandemic. It isn't over yet, and thousands are still dying every day around the world, including hundreds in the United States. She said that many mourners are still struggling to reach the one-year mark after a loss and that very few studies have been published on the psychological fallout.
However, prolonged grief can be both real and debilitating. Skritskaya is a clinical psychologist and research scientist at the Center for Complicated Grief, Columbia University in New York. It can be treated by therapy, where participants share their feelings and experience.
She said, "The core of it's kind of helping people face reality of what happened." It's not an easy process. It is intense.
Jerri Vance stated that therapy helped her cope with grief after James Vance, her husband, died from COVID-19 on New Year's Day. However, she is concerned about her two daughters.
She said, "Seeing my children's grief adds to mine pain." "One of my children is not making much progress in therapy, because her daddy was her person. She's still mad at the outside world.
In a study, published in fall, it was predicted that the pandemic would lead to an increase in prolonged grief. People who have lost loved ones due to COVID-19 are already sharing their grief on social media with stories of sadness and tears that won't stop.
Many people blame the loss of traditional end-of-life rituals as the reason for their constant grief. Others struggle with the unpredictable nature and unfairness of coronavirus. Many are frustrated by the politicization of this pandemic. They see and hear people arguing against what experts call life-saving measures, such as vaccinations, mask wear and social distancing.
Betsy Utnick said that she listens to all kinds of opinions in my office and doesn't engage because it is not professional. Her father, Sheldon Polan, from Selden, New York, passed away in April 2020. Because of the unresolved grief, she said that she still tears every day.
Noreen Wasti understands the pain. Noreen Wasti lost her father to the coronavirus-related illness on December 27th and is struggling to get on with her life.
Wasti, who is a writer and creator of online content in New York said that she is unsure how to deal with the loss of Salman Wasti (76), a retired professor from Glocester, Rhode Island.
"This is the first time that I have lost someone so close to me. I don't know how I could cope with the loss. My belief was that you are only sad for a few weeks and then you can feel okay. She said that I was wrong. It hits in waves, and those waves feel as strong as the day we lost him.
Social media has been a place for many to connect and share their stories and losses. There is an exclusive Facebook group for COVID-19 loss that has over 10,000 members. The ongoing grief thread is a constant topic of discussion.
Rabia Khan, a Pakistani activist Muhammad Hameedullah Khan from Chicago, has found comfort online after his death on Thanksgiving Day. She said that survivor and family members don't ask insensitive questions about the circumstances of a loved one contracting the virus, or why they didn't take precautions to prevent it from happening.
Lisa Smid tried to turn her sadness into something positive by sharing online stories about her boyfriend Ben Schaeffer (a New York subway conductor, historian and conductor). She organized an online lecture for the New York Transit Museum, and she plans to endow more memorial lectures.
She said, "It's nice to be able to look forward to an event that will allow me to vent my grief and move on with my life."
Ann Haas from St. Paul, Minnesota is still looking for an outlet while she grieves. But work keeps her coming back to the worst days of her life.
Haas lost Raymond Haas to COVID-19 in November 2011. She now works at the Veterans Affairs hospital's laundry where her father spent his final days. Haas says that her memories are flooded back every time she folds a blanket of tan like the one he was wearing while he was fighting for his life.
"I wish that other people could see the impact this has on people. "I hear people saying, ‘This isn’t real, it’s nothing.'" Haas said in between sobs. "I have nothing left. It'll take them losing someone to get to the bottom of it all.
