"Our mothers needed to be more themselves"

Our mothers.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
05 May 2023 Friday 22:58
12 Reads
"Our mothers needed to be more themselves"

Our mothers

I dedicate my latest novel to them.

Because?

The role of parents has covered them up. And we owe them a lot! They deserve recognition.

Which mothers do you write about?

Those who were in the 70s, 80s, 90s... And all mothers.

Mine was in the 60s.

What kind of mother was she?

She raised five children, and docile with her husband.

My mother imposed her judgment.

With his father happy?

They were distributed: she, bad cop; he, good cop

Has he dated her?

I explain ten profiles of women who as mothers include all mothers.

But tell me something more about your mother.

Determined and quick-witted, she grasps every situation and sees clear solutions: she is the most decisive brain I have ever met.

I am seeing an admired daughter…

Because of his high sense of justice... When I was a child, I watched him sing the bank's quarantines for unjust commissions.

And with his daughter... was he very picky?

Strict: if I got good grades he didn't reward me, he just said "it's your obligation".

Of florets, fair ones?

sobriety No flattery or cotton candy.

Are mothers softer today?

Mothers suffer enough scrutiny for me to judge them. A mother fits the hegemonic social mandate of the moment.

What is the common denominator of our mothers?

To be incombustible and to endure many renunciations and sacrifices thanks to knowing how to give them meaning.

What's the point?

That their children reach where they could not.

And have they succeeded, the children?

I am a journalist, a writer... I owe it to my mother. Also to my great grandmother.

Because?

I recorded his memories, I was 17 years old. Then I turned his testimony into my first novel, Argelagues.

And to write Our mothers?

I documented myself for a year, I wanted to profile each mother in detail...

Selfless mothers?

For strength, not for taste.

Good irons?

Very good, what a remedy. And handles

Good cooks?

My mother never made cannelloni.

No?

No cakes. For rebellion against the servitude of the kitchen, for insubordination.

Mavericks?

As far as possible

Dependent or not on the husband?

My parents agreed on important decisions.

Do her friends tell her the same thing about their mothers, or...?

Most of them tell me that their mothers didn't make big decisions without their husband's validation, of course.

Did they have adventures? Mine doesn't.

This was kept a secret, just like during her singlehood some abortion...

And shortly after they separated.

As a child all my friends had their parents together, whereas today in a high school classroom it is very rare to find a teenager who does not have them separated.

The mothers are getting older, until they end up in the Obregón case.

To be a mother, age is less important than maturity, which is to dominate the reins of your life. And I will not judge Obregón or any other woman, as long as they receive.

But you must have an opinion on surrogacy...

It is an extreme of capitalist extractivism, carried even to the activity of the wombs.

Between an absorbing mother and a distant mother, which do you prefer?

We children live the dilemma between "look, mom!" and the "leave me, mom!". Children are very selfish: we demand the mother's full attention but without any control.

What has been the unfulfilled dream of our mothers?

Have a more independent life, since they have been carers for others in excess. And do a job they liked.

Which sentence would best summarize our mothers?

"I haven't had a single moment all day to sit on the couch."

Oh, how beautiful, it sounds, it sounds...

The phrase basically means: "I haven't been able to think about myself in my whole life".

A very good translation.

My journalist colleague Andrea Gumes pointed it out to me the other day, and it is a great truth: our mothers, without complaints, have needed to be more themselves.