Were you a spy?
I started working at the Canadian Department of Defense two weeks before the Twin Towers fell.
What a responsibility.
We started a new program that became our biggest program. He worked more than 12 hours a day. Sometimes I was faced with situations that affected not only my team but also my country, other countries and people's lives.
Did you work outside your country?
Yes, and I had to get information and make decisions that no one had taught me to make, so I had to learn from them.
How was it done?
I studied the great historical thinkers and current people who know what they are doing and I saw a pattern, there are definitely people who make better decisions than the rest.
What do they have in common?
They are always in positions where all opportunities are good, advantageous for the future, and they are never forced into decisions they don't want to make.
And how is this done?
If you position yourself for different options, when things change, circumstances never force you into a bad position. There are two ways to play the game: on easy mode or on hard mode.
Can you give me an example?
My son suspended, shrugged his shoulders and told me: "I did the best I could." He didn't see that the position in which he started the exam made it more difficult: he didn't study for the previous three days, he didn't sleep enough the night before, and he hadn't eaten breakfast in the morning.
Necessary but not sufficient.
Anyone can look like a genius if put in the right position and an idiot in the wrong position.
Does success depend on small decisions?
Yes, you need to escape from inertia. Inertia keeps us in relationships that don't make us happy and in jobs we hate because in both cases we know what to expect and are comforted that our expectations are met.
That sounds like defeat.
Keeping things as they are hardly requires effort, and we become complacent. What I call default inertia takes advantage of our desire to stay in our comfort zone.
It's not such a bad place.
Inertia closes minds and suffocates motivation, makes it difficult to imagine alternative methods and discourages experimentation and course correction.
Why do my invisible instincts act?
Yes, they conspire against good judgment. Your default conditioning encourages you to react without reasoning, to live unconsciously. No one chooses to argue with their partner, but suddenly you find yourself saying hurtful things.
What do you propose?
Make clarity your default condition. Taking care of yourself is basic, eating and sleeping well and exercising; we have to learn to manage our flaws, don't let your ego make decisions.
If we had all the information we would always make the perfect decision.
Establishing rituals is key to creating positive inertia, as simple as pausing briefly before responding. Tennis players always bounce the ball the same number of times before making a serve.
yes, and
Rituals force the mind to focus on the next move, not the previous one. Whoever is able to take a momentary step back, focus and save the situation will get a better result.
You need to educate yourself.
Yes, and do it in a few basic strengths. Take responsibility for developing your abilities and managing your disabilities. Self-control, mastering your fears, emotions and desires. And you have to know what you can do and what you can't.
get to know you
And nurture confidence in yourself, trust in your worth to others and in your abilities. Be practical, take a look around you, at the practices and people that permeate your daily life. Our environment influences us, both the people around us and the physical environment.
Harmony is the best breeding ground.
I agree, wise people look at life in all its breadth: health, family, friends, work, faith and community. Gerontologist Karl Pillemer investigated the practical wisdom of old age.
And what conclusion did he come to?
It is summed up by the answer given to him by one of his interviewees when he asked him about the cause of his happiness: "In my 89 years of life I have learned that happiness is a choice, not a condition".
