Knowing how to set limits is an essential aspect of prioritizing our mental health and our own emotional well-being. It means putting our desires, needs and priorities first instead of trying to satisfy third parties at the expense of doing something that really doesn't make us happy. It is, in fact, a fundamental pillar of personal growth, self-care and key to managing assertiveness.
However, saying no is very complex for some people. The desire to please and look good, the desire to serve others and the fear of rejection are some of the obstacles faced by those who find it difficult to say no when something is asked of them. And saying yes when we really mean no results in frustration, discouragement, loss of self-esteem and well-being with oneself.
From the Instagram account of the Psico Mentale cabinet, they dedicate a publication to the advantages of saying no, while sharing some keys to doing so. “Knowing how to say no is going to help us set limits when we don't want to do something for some reason,” he begins his explanation on the social network.
To learn to say no, Psico Mentale highlights some issues that we must take into account. First of all, they recommend responding calmly and politely. In this sense, assertiveness – that balance between passivity and aggressiveness – is an ally, allowing us to express what we feel or want clearly without falling into hostility.
On the other hand, it is advisable to explain our reasons for issuing this refusal, but without falling into unnecessary overjustification. Nor should we respond to emotional blackmail, but we must remain firm in our decision to say no.
Another recommendation is to put into practice the sandwich or scratched record technique. The latter consists of repeating over and over again the argument that we use to hide behind our refusal, in order to remain firm in our position so that the other person sees that there is no room for negotiations or changes of opinion.
Finally, another tip is to ask the person who is making the request for some time to think about whether we decide to accept it. This way we can reflect on our decision without the request catching us off guard and without room to analyze whether or not we want to do what we have been asked to do.
