Were you a spy?
I started working at the Canadian Department of Defense two weeks before the Twin Towers fell.
What a responsibility.
We started a new program that became the most important we have. I worked more than 12 hours a day. Sometimes I was put in situations that affected not only my team but also my country, other countries and people's lives.
Did you work outside your country?
Yes, and I had to gather information and make decisions that no one had taught me to make, so I had to learn.
As it did?
I studied the great historical thinkers and current people who know what they are doing and I saw a pattern, there are undoubtedly people who make better decisions than the rest.
What do they have in common?
They are always in positions where all opportunities are good, advantageous for the future, and they are never forced to make decisions they don't want to.
And how do you get that?
If you position yourself for different options, when things change circumstances never force you into a bad position. There are two ways to play the game: easy mode or hard mode.
Give me an example.
My son failed, shrugged his shoulders, and told me, “I did the best I could.” He didn't see that the position in which he started the exam made it more difficult, he didn't study the previous three days, the night before he didn't get enough sleep and he hadn't had breakfast.
Necessary but not sufficient.
Anyone can look like a genius if put in a good position and an idiot if put in the wrong position.
Does success depend on small decisions?
Yes, we must flee from inertia. Inertia keeps us in relationships that don't make us happy and in jobs that we hate because in both cases we know what to expect and it comforts us when our expectations are met.
That sounds like defeat.
Keeping things as they are hardly requires any effort, and we become complacent. What I call default inertia takes advantage of our desire to stay in the comfort zone.
It's not such a bad place.
Inertia closes minds and stifles motivation, makes it difficult to imagine alternative methods, and discourages experimentation and course correction.
Why do my invisible instincts act?
Yes, they conspire against good judgment. Your predetermined conditions encourage you to react without reasoning, to live unconsciously. No one chooses to argue with their partner, but suddenly you find yourself saying things that hurt.
What do you propose?
Make clarity your default condition. Taking care of yourself is basic, eating and sleeping well and exercising; We must learn to manage our defects, never allow your ego to make decisions.
If we had all the information we would always make the perfect decision.
Establishing rituals is key to creating positive inertia, as simple as a brief pause before responding. Tennis players swing the ball an equal number of times before serving.
Yes, and?
Rituals force the mind to focus on the next move, not the previous one. Those who are able to take a momentary step back, focus and save the situation will obtain a better result.
You have to train.
Yes, and do it in four basic strengths: Assume responsibility for developing your capabilities and managing your disabilities. Self-control, mastering your fears, emotions and desires. And you have to know what you are capable of doing and what you are not.
Know yourself.
And nurture self-confidence, trust in your worth to others and in your abilities. Be practical, take a look around you, at the practices and people that permeate your daily life. Our environment influences us, both the people around us and the physical environment.
Harmony is the best breeding ground.
I agree, wise people look at life in all its breadth: health, family, friends, work, faith and community. Gerontologist Karl Pillemer investigated the practical wisdom of old age.
What conclusion did you reach?
It is summed up by the answer that one of her interviewees gave when she asked her about the cause of her happiness: “In my 89 years of life I have learned that happiness is a choice, not a condition.”
