The work schedules and multiple activities that absorb parents outside the home make many ask themselves this question: when is it correct, or even legal, for my son or daughter to stay home alone?
Answering it requires taking into account current legislation, but it would be insufficient to stop at just those data. It is necessary to go further and ask other questions, in the field of education and family relationships, that help parents make the right decisions.
Although experts recommend that the “home alone” moment not come before the age of nine or ten, the law is not so clear. Spanish law, for example, does not establish a minimum age for parents to legally leave their minor children home alone. The Civil Code limits itself to establishing what is called “a situation of helplessness”, which is one that occurs due to failure to comply with the duties of protection of minors, leaving them deprived of the necessary moral or material assistance.
For its part, article 229 of the Penal Code punishes the abandonment of a minor with deprivation of liberty, which is aggravated when the life or health of the minor has been endangered. It is striking that, on the other hand, the recent animal welfare law has determined in considerable detail the time that a pet cannot be left alone.
The reality is that the report on Accidents in the Spanish child population indicates that 9.1% of children under 12 years of age are left alone at home. And of them, 5% are less than four years old. A report by the NGO Educo estimated that in 2017 in Spain there were more than half a million children between 6 and 13 years old alone in their homes for long periods of time.
They are known as “the children of the key” and their number has been increasing alarmingly in recent years. They are called that because they have a key to enter and leave the house. They leave school and no one waits for them at the exit. They head home alone to spend the afternoon there. Because? The reason why these children are alone is not always helplessness or neglect: the Educo report states that the reasons for this situation are a precarious economic and work situation with little family and social support.
Spain is not the only country affected by this problem; children around the world have to face the loneliness of afternoons at home or caring for younger siblings while their parents work. A survey published by the Afterschool Alliance (America After 3 PM) revealed that in 2022, almost 7.7 million American schoolchildren spent their afternoons alone.
The psychological and emotional problems that this situation can generate are also worrying. In fact, boys and girls especially resent loneliness and boredom, coming to have the feeling that they matter little to their parents, or even that they do not love them.
Faced with this reality, where some boys and girls face premature loneliness and responsibility, it is essential not only to reflect on the minimum legal requirements, but also to recognize the time shared between parents and children as an authentic investment in their emotional well-being, building bonds solid, as well as social skills that tend to last throughout their lives. This shared time not only impacts the security and affection received, but also seems to have a positive impact on academic results.
However, when addressing the question of time, we have fallen into the temptation of thinking that only quality time is truly important. That time where we project our attention to the other: the moment of the story, the bath, the massage before going to sleep, or a conversation with some relevance.
While it is undeniable that quality time is crucial, experts warn us not to underestimate the amount of time we spend with them, in their presence. In fact, this time is essential. Quantity time is the time in which we are available at home for our children, even if we are not interacting directly with them. It's simply being there.
The British-American psychologist Michael Lamb, in his influential book on fatherhood, already indicated that parental involvement has three major dimensions:
Therefore, and even though it is true that families suffer from a lack of time that leads us to prioritize quality time, we must recover the idea of quantity time.
There are many risks and few policies that help reconcile families, especially those with low resources. However, political, social and family reflection is necessary to avoid the possible consequences of the reality of the “key children.”
We propose that, while we continue investigating the possible psychological and emotional impact that being alone can have on these children (since by understanding the effects we can develop more specific interventions), as a society we reflect deeply on this new reality.
While this is happening, we have the opportunity to revalue the quantitative part of family time. Despite the time limitations of today's families, it is important to recover the importance of being there even if it is not with complete attention. Parents' availability to their children, even when there is no direct interaction, is essential in building strong bonds.
This article was originally published on The Conversation.
Marc Grau-Grau is coordinator of the Joaquim Molins Figueras Childcare and Family Policies Chair, International University of Catalonia and Montserrat Gas Aixendri is professor of Law at the same university.
