On Thursday we had a chat with Jordi Basté on El món on RAC1 when Igor Crespo, the representative of Nikola Mirotic, called the program. Crespo chose for the occasion the suit of a matrimonial lawyer and did what is expected of the specialist in turning the failures of the heart into tickets: alerting the ex-partner that the tick will not let go of the arm while there blood to suck
Couples who break up, if they are clear about it, tend to be in a hurry. They want to leave the break behind immediately. But the good matrimonial lawyer never has. A fly strike calls for speed, lest the contractor with a full wallet ends up thinking too much. But a divorce demands the opposite, slowness. Suffocate the other. Force him to continue sleeping under the same roof until he loosens the ticket. And the tick spoke clearly: it's 31,000 euros a day as long as it remains attached to the skin. And he has no intention of letting go until there is an agreement on the marriage capitulations that were signed on the day of the wedding, with Josep Maria Bartomeu officiating.
Love can be very expensive, but heartbreak is more expensive. Popular wisdom to the rescue: not those who want to divorce, but those who can.
The matrimonial lawyer was asked directly if we were just talking about money. And at this point he did his job well too. No, please! There are the feelings! We Contertulians were about to take out our handkerchiefs to wipe our tears for poor Mirotic. Treated with spite, kicked out of the conjugal bed of Barcelona, where he has made so many sacrifices to keep the relationship safe. So the money, the matrimonial lawyer implied, is nothing more than an addition. Is suffering worth it? Can neglect be paid? The matrimonial lawyer failed to add, to fully embrace the spirit of the time, that the wing-pivot has been reified by Barça. That once used, it is now treated like a sack of meat, as if it were organic waste. The effect of this part of the speech was rather limited. Who else knows that these are tickets, just tickets. They won't want us to call it love when it's obvious to everyone that we're just talking about sex.
What did become abundantly clear is that the divorce can get away with Barça in the blink of an eye. Only Mirotic's rush to sleep with someone else can cheapen him. The matrimonial lawyer said he doesn't have one. That his client relates well to conjugal abstinence and that he is prepared, in this sense, to go hungry than a musician's dog. The exact amount of the separation will depend on how much truth there is in this statement.
