If you are one of those people who lives separately from your partner and only live together on weekends or holidays, then you are a Living Apart Together or LAT couple. This is a relational model that maintains the spirit of traditional couples - unlike open relationships or swingers - but at the same time values the individual, intimate and emotional freedom of each member. However, the reasons why a couple decides not to live together are very varied and are influenced by factors such as the labor market or access to housing.
Living Apart Together couples who are between 18 and 24 years old are often students, who live with their parents or share a flat with university classmates. External factors such as dependence on the family and the precariousness of their material conditions are among the reasons that force many young people to maintain this type of relationship that they would avoid if they could. This may be a transitory situation, as these young people tend to stay committed until they can afford to live together and get married.
On the other hand, from the age of 30, many couples decide to be LAT intentionally because it gives them the possibility of having an intimate relationship and preserving their autonomy at the same time. Ideological issues can also influence, since the possibilities of getting married and living together are reduced as the years of the relationship go by, according to psychologist María Vélez in an article for The Mind is Wonderful. In addition, couples with mature members tend to last longer than those with younger people.
Special mention should be made of couples aged 50 and older, who in most cases have already had a traditional relationship before, and the LAT model allows them to recover their autonomy.
Living Apart Together is a model that allows the couple to maintain their commitment in the event of a lack of work or complex family situations, such as caring for children from previous partners. Individual freedom is the main value of this relational model, something that we value more the older we are. Going from a LAT relationship to a traditional one is the predetermined path that many couples consider due to the social pressure they receive to live together. But in those over 60 years of age the reverse path frequently occurs, that is, they are couples who have previously lived together who decide to maintain the relationship separately.
The ambivalence and flexibility of this type of relationship can also generate dissatisfaction or fuel feelings of insecurity, if one of the members has declined to live with the other. Generally, cohabitation provides more opportunities for intimacy and instrumental and emotional support. Be that as it may, the success of LAT relationships is influenced by both personal needs and the ability to cope with this situation, if it is caused by external factors.
