“I didn't know how my dog was going to handle the arrival of my baby. Our way of life was going to change and I felt somewhat insecure”, says Rosa (41), who is the single mother of a seven-month-old baby and has a nine-year-old dog. “Not only for the logistics part. My dog is a bit nervous and has never had contact with babies. Towards the end of the pregnancy I began to imagine possible situations and to get overwhelmed… thinking about going in the car, taking a shower, going for a walk, breastfeeding and the dog approaching me… ”, she explains.
Liliana (36) and her partner decided to incorporate a German shepherd, Yuma, into their family when they moved to a house in the mountains on the outskirts of Barcelona, after the pandemic. When they found out that they would be parents for the first time, doubts arose. “She is very good, but she is big, brutish and effusive. She was afraid of how she was going to be with a baby, ”explains Liliana.
Fernanda Bravo (36) and her partner, Xavi (38) have two dogs, eight-year-old Neil and four-year-old Nina. “We were worried about how they would deal with her first meeting with our baby, Luisa, who is six months old today, and how they would deal with her on a daily basis,” he says.
"According to the Spanish Network for the Identification of Companion Animals (REIAC), companion animals double the number of children under 15 years of age in our country," says canine and feline educator Tamara Hernán, explaining that "there are many families that live together before with a dog and later the baby arrives, so most dogs lack controlled and positive socialization with children during their puppyhood. It is more difficult for the adult dog to adapt to living with a child”.
The videos that abound on social networks, with cute and funny interactions of dogs and babies playing, sharing food and growing together, often do not help. "Situations that seem beautiful, but actually hide risky scenes between dogs and children, go viral and romanticize," says Tamara Hernán, and indicates that, in many cases, dogs are humanized, "it is thought that they are going to love the baby of the family”, when in truth it is not something that necessarily occurs spontaneously.
“We were not worried about how our dog was going to be with the baby because it is very good. What we had were very high expectations,” says Florencia Señaris, who has a one-year-old and two-month-old daughter and a three-year-old dog, Enzo.
“During the pregnancy, my partner and I used to send each other videos in which the baby and the dog go everywhere together and are life partners. But when my daughter was born it was not like that. We wanted them to love each other and it didn't happen”, she explains and adds: “during the first months, the baby wanted to be with the dog all the time, but he didn't want to know anything”.
The veterinarian in charge of the Clínica Veterinària Numància, Magda Llibre Franquesa, receives many queries on this subject. "Every case is a world. It depends a lot on what the dog is like and what its caregivers are like, how long they will be with it, where they live...", he points out, and clarifies that "we will always have greater success in introducing an animal into the family if we we fuck since he was little and we educate him correctly ”. In that case, she warns her, it is important "to become aware of what it means to have an animal at home and choose one that has a type of character that adapts to the space and time that they can dedicate to it."
When it happens the other way around, and it is the baby who comes home later, “the dog can feel excluded, get jealous and seek to get our attention, either by peeing on the sofa or, in the worst case, growling and barking at the door. child," says Llibre. It's important to her to introduce the baby and include him in everything from the very beginning. Those first interactions-she indicates-should be "gentle, slow and short". In addition, she insists on not forcing the baby or the animal to be where they do not want and "let everything flow, although always with the watchful eye of the parents."
The psychologist Anaïs Barcelona indicates that “the arrival of a baby implies a readjustment for the parents. At first it can be overwhelming, especially if we add living with a pet. It is a time of adaptation and mutual knowledge. Preparing the animal for the arrival of the new member and establishing limits and routines can be of great help”.
Fernanda Bravo groomed her dogs during her pregnancy. “Previously, the dogs had free movement through all the spaces in our house. They slept on our feet and already during the pregnancy we began to teach them to sleep outside our room, so that they would not associate the arrival of the baby with her leaving the room, ”she explains.
Another issue was cleanliness. “Our dogs shed a lot of hair, and with a newborn baby, that was a problem. We relied on a robot vacuum cleaner that made our work easier, ”she explains. Before the first encounter, they gave the dogs clothes and a diaper of the baby to sniff. “What intrigued them the most were the noises it made. I felt a little uncomfortable, because they were trying to come very roughly to find out who was making those sounds. Little by little, we were allowing them to come closer to smell it, ”she recalls.
All of her interactions are mediated and supervised by her or her partner. “We know our dogs. We know when something bothers you or you feel stressed. You have to respect their rhythms and preferences. When I notice that they've had enough of the baby, I push them away right away. Establishing limits within the apartment was also key”, she explains and adds: “Although tired, we have made an effort to maintain their daily routines of walks, games and pampering. Sometimes it's hard, but it's very important."
Changes in routine, in the time available to dedicate to the animal and even in the spaces, smells and sounds of the house, can alter its rest and put it in a state of alertness, prolonged stress or even fear and anxiety, says the canine educator Tamara Hernan. “Families' biggest fear is that their dog will feel left out and act jealous towards the baby, which can be avoided by continuing to give him his place in the family,” she says.
She experienced that same concern when she became pregnant in 2018. "I found myself with a void and confusion when it came to preparing myself so that my two dogs and my two cats suffered the least negative impact with the arrival of the baby," she explains. It was then that she decided to offer training and advice for what she calls 'multispecies breeding'. "I teach to live together in a respectful and safe way, taking into account the needs and well-being of each member of the family," she clarifies.
"The arrival of a baby for a dog can be such an abrupt change in its life that, if it does not know how to adapt, it could mean abandoning, giving up and even sacrificing the animal," says Hernán. According to a study by the Affinity Foundation last year, among the reasons declared by families who gave their pet to a shelter in 2021, 13.1% were due to behavioral problems and 2.5% due to birth of a son or daughter. According to the same report, that year 285,554 dogs and cats were collected in Spain.
On her website, Tamara Hernán offers courses for preparation during pregnancy, for living with a newborn baby and also with a baby that is already crawling, at 130 euros each. Rosa and Liliana are part of the 'Club Premium', a membership that combines courses with individual counseling.
His method consists of first rehearsing situations and exposing the animal to stimuli, such as baby crying noises, moving the cart around the house or walking a doll, among other things, to learn about your dog's communication, assess its degree of sensitivity and be able to help you if you get stressed.
Liliana and her partner decided to seek advice during their last trimester of pregnancy. “Our dog is part of our family. We wanted to make her a participant in the changes and accompany her instead of scolding her or pushing her away”, says Liliana and adds: “we put the baby's things a month before she was born so that she could smell it and become familiar with it”.
One of the keys was to anticipate and plan each interaction in advance. “Rather than giving him the diaper to smell first, which is the typical thing they tell you, Tamara suggested that we give him the first change of clothes to smell, with the real smell of the baby,” she says. In addition to her “smell introduction,” when she came home from the hospital they greeted her first and gave her time to calm down before introducing her.
In turn, they made an effort to maintain the dog's routines. “Although with a baby it is impossible to dedicate the same attention, we seek to cover the needs of all. We live on a large piece of land, but she needs to go for walks to sniff, explore, expend energy, and socialize with other dogs,” she says.
She was afraid to breastfeed with the dog in the same space. "Her recommendation was to give her a toy so that she could channel the tension and that, if she calmly stood next to me, I would caress her to create a relaxing moment," she says. Another challenge was the interaction of her dog and the baby at the same height. "Tamara suggested that I do it when Yuma was calm and that I use my body as a barrier so that, if necessary, I could redirect the situation," explains Liliana and adds: "Although the first time was more invasive, after generating good experiences, and Yuma I kept my distance."
Rosa's counseling helped her read to her dog. “After nine years, I was able to understand his behaviors and identify signs to know when he is not comfortable”, he says and adds: “before, I was bonded from obedience, now I am learning to give him his space and respect him”. For her, it is essential that the dog and the child only share the same space when the dog wants and never leave them alone without supervision. “When I can't have active surveillance, I try to have them in different spaces,” she says.
“The main way to avoid bad experiences is to supervise, because both dogs and babies can be unpredictable. The goal is to create and share safe spaces without physical barriers. When we cannot have active supervision, we can use other tools to prevent accidents, such as ensuring that they are at safe distances, at different heights or rooms in the home”, sums up Tamara Hernán and adds: “The best tool is prevention. That is why I recommend that families train to understand canine language and know how to act”.
"Understanding your dog and acting accordingly is basic," says veterinarian Magda Llibre. For example, she notes, “Puppies get stressed when they play. We must identify when they go from being well to being stressed. There are clear signs: it does not pay attention to the indications to stop and can bite, even if it is without malice, and even appear aggressive. That's when you have to stop the game and wait for their stress levels to drop before picking it up again."
In order to guarantee that the presence of animals in the house is something positive, indicates Anaïs Barcelona, “it is very important that adults act as role models so that children are respectful towards animals. It is a living being that we must take care of. Also explain to them the hygiene measures that they must take into account, such as washing their hands after touching them.
"We must keep the animal healthy, properly checked and vaccinated, and at the same time teach children to wash their hands before eating or after having touched the animal," says veterinarian Magda Llibre, adding that, in addition to educating the animal, "It is important to educate children about what a pet implies, the responsibility it entails, how they should be treated and how they can be played with. That they understand that it is not a toy, even though it can be played with."
“It is essential to educate children so that they respect and empathize with dogs through stories, drawings, songs and games adapted to their cognitive development. Education on how to interact with dogs helps prevent situations of risk of canine aggression. Dogs are not aggressive, they defend themselves”, says Tamara Hernán. She offers ideas of 'Multispecies Games' to create positive interactions such as, for example, "have the little one hide dog treats under some stacking cubes and the dog discover them with his nose".
“Animals give us a lot. Many times we look for easy solutions, but I invite people to train themselves and, if they are afraid, seek help", says Liliana and adds: "In these six months, our dog has even given us more work than our daughter, but she has worth it. Today I have tools to manage situations”.
For Fernanda Bravo, the adaptation effort was worth it. “Our dogs make our entire family group happier, more relaxed and more joyful,” she says, adding: “They give us affection and make our daughter feel more secure at home when my husband or I have to go out. They help regulate her emotional state and stimulate her sensory. She imitates her movements when watching them walk. The daily walks take us to walk with the family and be outside of it, they make us change our air, calm the baby and favor her naps ”.
“We never did anything concrete for them to relate to. We thought it was going to happen alone”, explains Florencia Señaris for her part and adds: “Now my daughter is older and they are beginning to interact. I think that the relationship with animals is very beneficial and also helps to have good defenses. Sharing and living with another living being seems to me something excellent”.
“Contact with animals has many benefits for the socio-emotional development of children. Learning to care for and love other living beings from a very young age increases their responsibility, autonomy, improves their mood and even reduces stress", says psychologist Anaïs Barcelona and adds: "Different studies indicate that coexistence between children and pets can benefit the immune system and prevent allergies. It also reduces a sedentary lifestyle, due to walks and games”. “In children with special educational needs, animal-assisted therapy can improve motor skills, increase self-esteem, communication, and reduce anxious-depressive states,” she says.
“Having a pet at home is a wonderful thing. If things are done right, they usually turn out well. If this is not the case, in most cases they can be fixed, with patience and the company of experts”, says the veterinarian Magda Llibre.
