This could be a die-hard person who is hard to reason with, someone in a critical situation who refuses to get the help they need, or someone who feels trapped between a rock and a hard place. Whatever the reason, it is never easy to treat a person with a defensive attitude. An attitude, on the other hand, totally natural and typical of the human being. Being defensive has to do with that feeling that is experienced in the face of criticism, an embarrassing situation or feeling hurt by the words or behavior of others. Despite, and here is the key, that the interlocutor's intention is not to cause any harm at all. On the contrary.
The reasons that cause a person to adopt a defensive attitude are very varied. From insecurities, social anxiety problems, consequences of a trauma suffered, feelings of guilt, mental disorders or even pure impotence in the face of a situation that is not capable of being reversed even if one wants to.
Defensiveness is a mechanism that springs into action when someone feels threatened. This is instinctive, so the person in question may not even be aware of it. However, there are certain attitudes that make it clear that a defensive attitude is being assumed.
The first thing that someone trying to deal with a defensive person should keep in mind is that they will need to be very patient. It will not be easy, because you will receive constant attacks and comments, so it will be key to remain calm and not get carried away by what, after all, are nothing more than impulsive responses. This will help to understand why that person is adopting this attitude, that is, what is the emotional pain that this behavior brings as a consequence. Feeling empathy and understanding that these people are often not at their best or acting to the best of their ability will help you focus on what's important. Help them solve their problem.
For this, it is not necessary to make great speeches or discover the remedy for all its ills. It is simply recommended to stay by his side in those difficult moments. Little by little, tactfully and by gaining their trust, they can be helped and encouraged. Although at this point it will also be necessary to establish certain limits. They are dealing with an ally, not an enemy.
