At work, in meetings with friends or in relationships, it is common to face passive aggression. It is about this type of comments and behaviors that generally come from people who, although they avoid a direct conflict, attack others in a veiled way when they feel threatened. This behavior responds to an inability to express certain feelings or deal with honesty, depending on which issues, an attitude that can emotionally deregulate the recipients of these attacks.
People who take passive aggressive behavior are apparently arrogant, while showing some cowardice to externalize what they really think. This translates into violent attitudes that generate great discomfort in their different relational spheres. This behavior is due to multiple causes ranging from a lack of self-esteem to the inability to say 'no', which denotes serious difficulties in creating healthy bonds.
You and your group of friends are choosing a gift for a third party whose birthday will soon be. After assessing all the proposals and agreeing on the chosen item, once those in charge have gone to buy it, someone appears who says: You could have chosen something better. Why didn't this person intervene when he had the chance? And, above all, why doesn't he argue what seemed wrong to him? Bah, leave it be, nothing happens. No one has the power to guess what happens to the rest of the people, so indifference and sarcasm can undermine your emotional well-being.
There are thousands of more or less banal examples, but people with passive aggressive behavior have a number of characteristics in common.
This type of attitude can create a very violent and uncomfortable climate, which is why it is crucial to remain calm to reduce it. In a way, people with passive-aggressive behaviors throw the stone and hide their hand, since behind their comments they often hide the search for a confrontation. Going into this game would be a mistake and would only give the aggressor wings, so it is better to try to create a more relaxed and relaxed environment to talk to them.
You can use humor or small talk to de-escalate the issue that caused the assault. When you've got the mood you want, ask him what's bothering him. He probably won't answer us, but at least you'll have made it clear that what he feels and what he thinks is important to you. Finally, with assertiveness, try to establish limits with that person so that, as far as possible, they do not engage in this type of behavior with you again.
