Christmas is a time that we associate with spending time with family, especially when there are children at home, who are especially excited about these dates. However, logistics are complicated in the case of separated parents, since the children will spend the most important dates with only one of their parents, missing the other part of the family.
When approaching the organization of the holidays, we must not forget that the well-being of children must be the priority, much more than that of adults. In the blog of María Dolores Manzanera, who is dedicated to mediation and social intervention in family crises, we find guidelines to emotionally prepare children for the Christmas holidays after the separation of parents.
Prepare the children for the Christmas that lies ahead and plan with your ex-partner how you will divide up your stay during these dates. “If you have a good relationship as parents, it is positive for the children that you carry out activities together as a family, as long as you have spoken clearly with the children so as not to confuse them and that they do not raise hopes of reconciliation between you,” recommends the expert.
Talk to them and explain what is going to happen in a way that they understand, adapting to their age and level of understanding. You have to allow them to freely express how they feel and the emotions that the family context produces in them. “Recognize their emotions and don't downplay them,” argues Manzanera, while pointing out the importance of not insisting on them when they don't want to talk about it. Instead, let them know that you will be available to listen when they want to talk.
In this way, “you will teach your children the lesson of seeing the good in situations and people, without ceasing to accept their mistakes and accepting setbacks with calm and acceptance,” highlights the mediator. It is important to create a positive family climate.
Again, honesty will be key. Accept and accompany your children's emotions, do not underestimate their understanding of what is happening around them. “A good hug in silence is a great strategy at any time and circumstance, regardless of their age,” says Manzanera.
Organize activities to enjoy with the children so that they treasure good memories in their memory. In the words of the expert, “the best gift you can give your children is family harmony and the feeling that they have a family even though their parents are divorced.”
You must respect each other, show the children that you get along and be a good example. It is important that you relate, collaborate and participate in a united way, because your children will need you together as parents even if you no longer have a relationship.
