Childhood birthday celebrations are a moment to which children attach great importance. They are excited about the festivities, being honored, receiving gifts and blowing out the candles, being the protagonists. The same thing happens when it's any other classmate's birthday, an occasion to spend time with their friends and have a good time.
However, sometimes our son is not invited to a classmate's birthday party. When this happens, the child usually feels sadness, rejection and frustration, since these are ages in which they are still learning to relate to others and manage their own emotions. Given this situation, it is up to the parents to help the child understand what happened and make them feel better about it.
The first thing you should do is have a conversation with your child about how he feels about what happened. Let the child express his emotions and express them openly. Ask him questions about it, but don't hesitate to anticipate and be the one who tells him phrases that condition his state. For example, perhaps the child is only mildly embarrassed and you inadvertently magnify the situation, making him or her feel even worse.
Listen carefully to your child and validate their emotions. At all times your child should feel understood and that you empathize with him. Don't try to refute his arguments with phrases like “don't be sad” or “it's no big deal.” Instead, choose to say things like “I know how you feel” or “it's normal that this has affected you.”
A common mistake made by parents when their child does not receive the invitation to a classmate's birthday is to criticize the birthday child or their parents. You should not do this, as you will be instilling negative values in your child.
Closely related to the previous section, instead of criticizing the other child for not inviting your child to their birthday, address the situation with a conversation about friendship. Explain to your child that each person is different, with their own tastes and that not all of us are similar to each other. Make him understand that sometimes we have closer and inseparable friends, while others are occasional playmates or we only share time with them when we are in class.
If the problem persists, your child is no longer invited to other classmates' parties and this especially affects him, go talk to his teachers. They will be able to tell you how well your child integrates and relates, if he has friends, if he plays at recess... In addition, you will be able to rule out that he is being a victim of bullying or discrimination by his classmates.
