Three friends (one almost 40 and two almost 50), a teenage daughter, a generous ex and another selfish, elderly and overwhelming mothers, dreams put on hold, emotional duels, jobs that no longer offer you... But, above all, women who They do not accept what is imposed and, despite the setbacks, they continue forward. With these elements, Paloma Bravo builds an optimistic novel in which ageism, motherhood, couples, and care parade through its pages without shame or shame. Without filters (Contraluz) appears as a non-conformist and healing story for women.
Should no filters be an attitude towards life?
Measuring the damage you do when you say the first thing that comes to your mind, I believe that yes, there are many things that we keep silent about. And the worst censorship is self-censorship.
Why are we silent about the issues that affect us so much?
We live in a society in which, by default, we say that we are fine and hide sadness, doubts and fears. And it is much worse among women, because we have this kind of social demand that we have turned into self-demand so as not to say that we are afraid of being 50, that menopause is a bummer, that we are afraid of being unemployed, that we are very tired of taking care of ourselves. and we need our own time. It's hard for us to say it because we don't want to complain.
The three protagonists toast “the old women's revolution.” Does society separate us more and more?
Without a doubt, it is a stunning contradiction in a population pyramid that is completely inverted, in which so few children are born, the elderly are excluded, and old age is considered a defect. And the only option to not be old is to die before. This situation with the pandemic became very clear and I thought we were going to react as a society, but we have not.
When we are mothers, we are still daughters, but we have not been prepared to take care of our parents...
But they also don't forgive us for not doing it, a tremendous contradiction because, luckily, we are women who have not given up working. And be careful, we also live it with fear, because the fear of unemployment is one of the most tremendous in women of 40 or 50. You have to make your work compatible with taking care of your parents, your children and with a social life that sustains you. rope.
Nor are we born knowing how to be mothers. Is it what we demand the most from?
We have always heard that being a mother is the best thing that happens in life. Well, I haven't experienced it like that. I love my daughter very much, but I always tell her that, since she was born, I can't put my phone in airplane mode, and neither can my brain. And then you must teach by example. At the same time, you become “the mother of” at school. I think there is a permanent fight to maintain your personality and your dreams.
His imperfect women fall and get up many times. Are they brave or are they women?
Both things, because I believe the option of not getting up does not exist for us. If you don't get up, who goes to work, who collects a salary at the end of the month, who goes to pick up your children from school and who comforts them, things happen to them too. You always have to get up, but with good company and asking for help, which is what is costing us.
In the novel, absence weighs, sometimes, more than presence...
We are at an age where everything is loss and you must rebuild a life that is worth it. Sometimes it is very difficult, but I believe that losses, if they are of someone you have loved very much -without mysticism, I am not religious-, have to make you stronger. That love has to stay inside you.
The men only accompany. Where did you want to place them?
I wanted to make a novel about friends and mothers, and men are and are not in our lives. Although they want to convince us that they are, they are not so determining or they should not be. There are men who are imperfect and try and others who feel perfect and have glaring failures. I am allergic to the theorists of feminism, of paternity. What I believe in is practice. Good fatherhood is demonstrated by exercising and being a good companion by being.
