How did he get to the top of the world?
I am part of that statistic that says that one in three women experiences sexual abuse. In my case it was from six to ten years old. He stole my childhood.
How hard.
My father was sexist and violent. That created an environment of confusion, and when the pedophile, a trusted man who worked at home, told me that my parents already knew and agreed, I didn't dare say anything.
How did the torment end?
At the age of ten, when I made my first communion and studied the commandments, I saw that it was bad, I was a married man. Instead of asking for help, I became a very submissive girl, I felt guilty. When I was 15 I told my mother and she made me see that she had lived a nightmare. And she sent me to study in the US.
Everything was good?
I finished my degree and understood that I was gay; Alone, without family support and working for a vodka company, I became an alcoholic. He often ended up in the hospital. In the end I dared to ask my mother for help.
And how did he react?
He told me to return to Peru and do an ayahuasca session. In that session, for the first time I was able to confront myself with my past. I saw myself as six years old and felt compassion for that girl instead of anger. Some mountains appeared out of nowhere and the little girl took me towards them. It was such a strong vision that I decided to go to the highest mountain in the world.
El Everest.
This is how my reconnection with nature, with amazement, began. Everest means the mother of the world; At her feet I made a promise: to return, climb that mountain and guide girls who had suffered abuse to its feet.
That's where the adventure begins.
Years later, I made the trek to the base of Everest with a group of human trafficking survivors from Nepal, Peru, and San Francisco. Those young women taught me the power of community, of healing together.
And then he went up the mountain.
Yes, with a group of seven men, alpha male prototypes, even though I was afraid of them. We spent six weeks to climb. Three, the most sexist, the ones who made fun of me, couldn't continue due to altitude sickness. I understood that his machismo was vulnerability.
Did you celebrate the summit?
I drank for two days, and continued drinking until I climbed the seven highest peaks in the world. They detected a brain tumor in me. For days I didn't know if it was malignant or benign and I made a promise to myself that I was going to dedicate myself to inspiring other young women by climbing the mountains with them and writing my story.
Is it benign or evil?
Benign. I began to learn self-compassion, it was the medicine that led me to go five years without drinking. I practice daily.
He had serious accidents in the mountains.
I was with the guide in Acatenango, in Guatemala, a small mountain. A storm appeared out of nowhere. My tent tore and I suffered hypothermia. Asleep, I began to hear a sweet voice, like a siren's song: "See, see...", and suddenly another voice in my head screamed at me, "Get up, damn it!"
Her strength saved her.
We went out in the middle of the storm, something you should never do, with muscle-tearing wind. Of the eight who stayed, six died of hypothermia.
Has everything been suffering?
Nature was giving me many good things, but I still saw my vulnerability as a weakness, it took me years to see it as a superpower. I worked in the corporate world which, like the mountain world, was a sexist and critical environment, I was afraid to open up. But I met Lori, the love of my life. We married. She committed suicide.
What happened?
He was bipolar, he jumped off the Golden Gate in San Francisco just when I was going to meet him. My heart broke.
What have you learned about life?
May you find happiness with purpose. My mother said that you have to give to receive and, despite all the circumstances, I am grateful daily to have one more day to take care of those abused girls and those uneducated children in Nepal and Peru.
I should be proud.
I have been able to understand that dreams end up coming true and that tears are not weakness, they are the way to live with an open heart. I'm no longer afraid to love.
At the top of your lungs?
Love is one of the most beautiful emotions that many of us underestimate. I have discovered that nature is a teacher. I don't know how long I'll be here, I've had some strong brushes with death, but when my time comes, I would like to say: I gave it my all, and I try to live like that. No resentment, no regret.
