When these overwhelming dates arrive, I always look for answers in great men, whose lives inspire at crossroads. What would Napoleon Bonaparte think of Secret Santa, Secret Santa gifts and corporate dinners without a gender checker?
(And whoever says Napoleon Bonaparte means Winston Churchill or Pablo Iglesias junior).
For some time now, the first three weeks of December have become the Russian campaign without general winter. Everyone moves forward and schedules happily. Instead of the traditional excuse of “we leave it until after the holidays” – look, January and February are boring and have free days and nights! –, we have agreed to densify, compress and overwhelm the days before Christmas.
I believe that Napoleon Bonaparte would disapprove of this social slalom and would shoot the first corporal who suggested exchanging modest, insipid and predictable gifts under the pretext of team building on the eve of the Battle of Borodino.
–What you want, Dupont, you felon, is to give me the runaround.
Nor would it have seemed a good idea to the great Corsican to organize a military company dinner to strengthen the emotional ties between the grenadier captain and his subordinates, who when they really enjoy it is murmuring that Captain Dutroux, the big-browed man from Arcachon, understands Marshal Laffite's niece.
And the fact is that Napoleon, like Miguel Muñoz, was not a fan of business dinners because the boys got lost, with the risk of overdoing it with the innkeepers of the Dumas inn while concentrated on the outskirts of Borodino or at the Arcipreste hotel in Navacerrada they jumped fresher to the battlefield.
–Josefina, calm down, I invaded Russia and on Christmas Day we celebrated it without my brother José, to see if we can marry him to a Basque woman and he will settle down.
Napoleon Bonaparte would have prohibited citizens from eating eggplant croquettes, giving away kitchen aprons with tits and drinking Corsican anise before the 25th, reserving the right to cogorza for said holiday.
