The sport of moving in the summer, not for a minority, is no longer a growing activity. Most moving companies take their summer vacations, so playing this sport in August indicates financial insecurity, imminent court execution or emotional separation, and determining that moving is a distinctly amateur sport that he drinks from curling (furniture on blankets in hallways), rugby (elevator blockages), American football (the basic quarterback figure), and Fast
This kind of sport is, at least at its inception, in a series of ideas deeply rooted in the psyche of an urban middle class, whose ancestors used strength, hands and common sense to manage the their lives in a rural and pre-analog world. But it's not all genetics, mon ami. That your great-grandfather knew how to break fields or fix tractor engines, that your father or mother knew what to do when something broke at home, that is, whether it was sewing, splicing, soldering, screwing, hanging and unhanging, nailing and riveting, polishing and making it shine, doesn't mean you know how to do anything with your hands other than typing on a mobile phone. As highly specialized mutant beings with respect to technology, our relationship with the real, organic world in a move is reduced to crying or calling a strong brother-in-law. You can do both at the same time.
This time of the year, summer, but especially August, moving has had and continues to have as serious competitors other sports such as Pintar El Pis, Fer La Cuina, Canviar El Terra or El Plat de la Shower. In fact, there is talk of including all these activities in the new modern pentathlon for the next Olympics to be held in Paris next year or, even, in a future edition of ironman.
A priori, moving is a game without predetermined rules in which all the players who are needed can take part. There is an initiator, who, in general, is the owner of the movable property that must be moved to another place. This initiator, let's call him Player 0, is the one who, wanting to save himself a professional moving service (the classic Classic Circus triad of the clever clown or White Face, the nice one and the one who breaks everything), calls or asks to other players who, on the agreed day and time, show up at the exact place to play the move. In general, one of the players has a white van – Player 1 – and another is the brother-in-law of Player 0, who we might call Player 2. All the players have some kind of camaraderie, family or friendship connection with each other and all of them with Player 0 .
Since the practice of this sport is amateur, the players do not get paid, unless the beers or the mid-morning lunch can be considered wages. Before the day of the match, it is common to get a supply of cardboard boxes – used in supermarkets or bought first hand –, newspapers – in fact, it is believed that the printed press will survive while moving –, ropes, blankets – the classic gray ones riveted with red, but they can be others – electric or manual screwdrivers and a pseudo-human element in the form of a mother or father that anticipates every blow, every corner, every pain, sometimes cheating afterwards.
The game must have a clear and firm direction. The American football quarterback that inspired Johan Cruyff to design the player with the 4 on his back would be the ideal model for the move. Someone who distributes games, who imposes priorities, who knocks down doors, spins in stairwells, knows the differences between a freight elevator and an elevator, like a linguist knows the difference between a comma and a semicolon. That he does not make beginner's mistakes, such as not assessing the weight of the books in a box, that he does not leave any object behind, that he is the first to open and the last to close. There aren't many good quarterbacks in the moving world, but when you find a Patrick Mahomes you recognize him right away.
The distribution inside the van – white, poorly parked, probably in the name of a dead cousin – is carried out by Player 1, while Player 2 – the brother-in-law –, in the middle of the second hour of the game, repeats how in mantra two things: "Everything won't fit" and "We could make a stall". The rest of the Players would do well not to fall for his provocations.
Moving house can be fun or tragic - an eviction or a divorce - and therefore a reason for joy, sorrow, pain or melancholy. All this does not affect the development of the party at all. In the case of judicial eviction, Player 0 would no longer be the owner of the objects located in the residence. Player 0 would be the owner of that address, which through new players (police, court staff, manyà) will – on that day and time – start the forced move game.
Once all the furniture, cardboard boxes filled with clothes, books, music, absurd memories of trips to Istanbul or Cadiz have been loaded, the back door of the van is closed by Player 1 and the Rest is reached. After five minutes, Player 1 gets into the van, in the driver's seat, Player 0 in the co-driver's seat, and in the middle, always a short Player. On the journey full of potholes and enemy traffic lights, the atmosphere of the party is filled with male camaraderie, physical sweat and a desire to make this his life forever.
The second part is like the inverse of the first. Unload the van, load furniture and boxes and, as much as Player 0 implores it, the other Players will forego assembling wardrobes, armchairs and dining tables. Player 0 can try, but it is not ethical or moral. The end is vermouth, food or beer in a nearby bar. Player 1 is in a hurry because he has to return the van to his dead cousin. Consumption should be borne by Player 0, but there is a lot of meanness in this world of moving. There's the possibility of lower back injuries, broken glass and old, stained but brand new AC/DC T-shirts.
