"It took me years to see my vulnerability as a superpower"

How did he get to the top of the world?.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
25 October 2023 Wednesday 11:22
11 Reads
"It took me years to see my vulnerability as a superpower"

How did he get to the top of the world?

I am part of that statistic that says that one in three women experience sexual abuse. In my case, it was from six to ten years old. He stole my childhood.

How hard.

My father was sexist and violent. This created an environment of confusion, and when the pedophile, a trusted man who worked at home, told me that my parents already knew and agreed, I didn't dare say anything.

How did the torment end?

At the age of ten, when I made my first communion and studied the commandments, I saw that it was bad, I was a married man. Instead of asking for help, I became a very submissive little girl, I felt guilty. At the age of 15 I told my mother about it and she made me think I had lived a nightmare. And he sent me to study in the USA.

Everything went fine?

I finished my degree and understood that I was gay; alone, without family support and working for a vodka company, I became an alcoholic. He often ended up in the hospital. I finally got up the courage to ask mom for help.

And how did he react?

He told me to go back to Peru and do an ayahuasca session. In that session, for the first time I was able to confront my past. I saw myself as a six year old and felt compassion for that little girl instead of anger. Some mountains appeared out of nowhere and the little girl took me there. It was such a strong sight that I decided to go to the highest mountain in the world.

L’Everest.

Thus began my reconnection with nature. Everest means the mother of the world; at his feet I made a promise: to return, climb that mountain and guide girls who had suffered abuse there.

There the adventure begins.

Years later, I trekked to the base of Everest with a group of human trafficking survivors from Nepal, Peru and San Francisco. Those young women taught me the power of community, of healing together.

And then he went up the mountain.

Yes, with a group of seven men, the prototype alpha male, despite the fact that I was afraid of them. It took us six weeks to get it up. Three, the most sexist, the ones who made fun of me, couldn't continue because of altitude sickness. I understood his masculinity to be vulnerability.

Did you celebrate the summit?

I drank for two days, and continued to drink until I climbed the seven highest peaks in the world. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. For days I didn't know if it was malignant or not and I made a promise to myself that I would dedicate myself to inspiring other young people by climbing the mountains with them and writing my story.

Benign or malignant?

benign I started to learn self-compassion, it was the medicine that took me five years without drinking. I practice it daily.

He had serious accidents in the mountains.

He was with the guide in Acatenango, in Guatemala, a small mountain. A storm appeared out of nowhere. My tent tore and I suffered from hypothermia. Asleep, I began to hear a sweet voice, like a siren's song: "Come, come...", and suddenly another voice in my head shouted: "Get up, bitch!".

Her strength saved her.

We went out in the middle of the storm, something that should never be done, with a wind that tore at your muscles. Of the eight who stayed there, six died of hypothermia.

Has everything been suffering?

Nature was giving me a lot of good things, but I still saw my vulnerability as a weakness, it took me years to see it as a superpower. I was working in the corporate world which, like the one in the mountains, was a sexist and critical environment, I was afraid to open up. But I met Lori, the love of my life. we got married He killed himself.

what happened to him

He was bipolar, threw himself off the Golden Gate in San Francisco. My heart broke.

What has he learned from life?

May you find happiness with purpose. Mom used to say that you have to give in order to receive and, despite all the circumstances, I am grateful every day to have one more day to take care of those abused girls and children without education in Nepal and Peru.

She should be proud of it.

I was able to understand that dreams eventually come true, and that tears are not weakness, they are the way to live with an open heart. I'm not afraid to love anymore.

All lung?

Love is one of the most beautiful emotions that many of us despise. I have discovered that nature is a teacher. I don't know how long I'll be here, I've had some strong brushes with death, but when my time comes I'd like to say: I gave it my all, and I try to live like that. No grudges, no regrets.