Unfeasible, unrealizable, impractical, unattainable, utopian, fictitious. We are not talking about reconciling, although it could. They are synonyms that the dictionary throws up when we look for the word that resonated in Nuria Vallejo's head when her first child was born. A rare disease had crossed her path to devastate everything, like the tsunami that inspired J. A. Bayona in the film entitled 'The Impossible'. The doctors told him that he had a few weeks to live, at most a month or a year.
It couldn't be happening, but it was happening. “They told us that at any moment it could suffer a multiple failure”, shares Nuria. They started doing tests and the doctors realized they had the wrong rare disease. “We left the hospital without a diagnosis, but knowing that the child had problems,” she continues. Problems like he might not see, walk, or have severe mental retardation. In that scenario, she sat down with her husband to discuss whose job she should give up. "It was incompatible to go to hospitals and work," she describes.
They "enjoyed", in the less literal sense of the word, the 15 days of leave for her husband and the four months for Nuria. But since they weren't going to give up hope, she did have to at work. "I had to give up my position, my seniority and everything I had achieved in a company in which she was well valued." It was not a decision, but an obligation. It was impossible to reconcile with a job. For four years and after fifteen surgeries, the hospital became her first home.
It took months to find Raúl's rare disease, who is six years old today. His parents were not carriers. It was a case of what they call 'spontaneous', with only 70 patients studied worldwide. It was, as he explains, easier for him to win the Euromillion. From hospital to hospital and from specialist to specialist. "He's been downright tough," he adds. For a little over four years, Nuria did not work, but she did not stop integrating skills: "My son has made me the most resilient person."
He quit his job, but not the possibility of going back: "I always thought that if, against all odds, one day my son could go to regular school and have a relatively normal life, I wanted to recover my professional career." And the day came. Raúl could go to school. Nuria sat in front of the computer. It had been almost 10 years since she last modified her resume. “It has nothing to do with what is presented now, nor the technologies that existed then and that exist now”, she observes.
She was ready to return or at least she felt it, but in her recently updated CV there was a break of almost four years. “Companies see that you are a mother, that you have been unemployed for almost four years, that you are already 38 years old. They back off. They don't give you the opportunity, ”she highlights. She applied to numerous offers with no luck. And when the interview finally came, she had to talk about the 'break': “People empathized, but in the end they didn't give you the opportunity. They saw a person who would have to ask for permits or who would be a burden, etc."
Nothing is further from reality. That 'stop' of hospitals that scared away the 'recruiters' so much had made her more patient, more organized, more resilient, more mature, more committed. She is also an expert in juggling and bobbin lace, which is what she considers to be today reconciling work and care. Luck was reluctant to make an appearance and, since we were few, the pandemic arrived. “If it was difficult before, with the pandemic it was going to be impossible,” she recalls.
Almost 600,000 women do not seek employment in Spain because they are caring for children or other relatives, as in the case of Nuria. These are data that belong to the latest Active Population Survey published by the National Institute of Statistics (INE) which also reveals that the number of men who are in a similar situation is about 49,000. The INE also highlights that 57.8% of Spanish women declared having reduced their working hours or having stopped working after having children, compared to 6.7% of men.
Luck changed for Nuria in the least expected place: social networks. She saw a video of Santander Reencuentra, a Banco Santander program focused on helping women who abandoned their professional careers for family reasons to rejoin the labor market at companies in their area. This March 8th the second edition opens, active until April 28th. Nuria saw it clearly: “It seemed that they had made the video for me. It fit the bill,” she recalls.
A few days later they called her. “It was the most human personal interview I have been able to do in my life. She didn't need to lie and she could be totally frank,” she describes. Laura San José, in charge of conducting the interview, was moved. She was selected and, with it, a new job opportunity, temporary, yes. “It is a temporary job opportunity that comes from the bank and the idea is that other companies are encouraged to copy the initiative and hire women in a similar situation,” she highlights.
The truth is that it is still an oasis in the desert. The Adecco Foundation estimates the percentage of Spanish women who work with children under 14 years of age who have suffered situations of employment discrimination related to their maternity at 54%. While 60% of Spanish women consider that the lack of measures for work and family reconciliation is a major obstacle to their professional development, according to a survey carried out by the Women's Institute in 2020.
Nuria started at a bank branch in the accounting area. It was summer and she had to sacrifice the holidays, something that she made "happy in life". She was going back to work. It was a shot of energy and self-esteem: "It is to show, not only with the bank, but with yourself, that you are useful and in some way it is like riding a bike, I no longer remember that break." And no less important. It wasn't just work, it was also the opportunity to stop talking about diapers, hospitals, tests, for a few hours.
The Santander Reencuentra program not only provides the entity with that first work experience after resigning, but also includes a package of high-level training actions with online training on strategy, personal development, accounting and finance, leadership, etc., and training for job search. Like Nuria, another 99 participants were selected in the first edition. He shared a chat with them where they shared their experiences, gave each other support and encouragement.
Reconciling is a goal for which there is still no clear path, even less if the companies do not do their part. “Each one had their story, but we all started from the same point in common. We couldn't find work because society punishes you, I don't know if for being a woman and a mother. In my case I attribute it to when they asked me why you have been 'standing' for so long. I thought: 'what can I tell you'. If you say that you are a mother, it already looks like a burden, but if you say that your child has special needs, imagine, ”she shares.
It wasn't long until Nuria was informed of a vacancy in a money laundering prevention position due to maternity leave. "They liked me or maybe they liked my enthusiasm." She didn't have to hide anything and they knew her personal circumstances. She had a few months to show that her son is not a burden. "I can perfectly get my work done, even if I have to go to the doctor one morning," she says.
The paradox is that more and more job offers include a very particular skill as a requirement: high stress tolerance. Nuria laughs. “More people with high stress tolerance than me, few. And I have not acquired that by working, but by my personal experience ”, she values. Hence the importance of promoting second chances. “I believe in them. And Santander Reencuentra is a very good opportunity for someone who has doubts and wonders if it is useful. I tell them that you are useful and that you are worth it. It's a wonderful program,” she concludes.
