Self-help books and editorial novelties that promise to discover the great secret of well-being and happiness are the order of the day. However, this is a particular case. Robert Waldinger is Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and directs the Massachusetts General Hospital Center for Psychodynamic Therapy and Research and also the university's Adult Development study, which is the largest research study on happiness. what has been done in the world.
For 85 years, this prestigious North American university has studied the lives of thousands of people (work, family life, social relationships...) and their levels of well-being to find out what influences their physical and emotional well-being, and ultimately happiness.
Now the conclusions of the investigations are presented summarized in a book. Waldinger, co-author of the work with his colleague Marc Schulz, has visited Barcelona these days and has attended RAC1 on a sunny spring day, in a beautiful corner of the Eixample, a happy moment.
This study on happiness has been underway for 85 years, 20 of which under his direction. It's quite a record!
It is the longest longitudinal investigation in history, with the people and families themselves. It's almost unbelievable. Most research like this stops after ten years because too many participants drop out of the study. 84% of the participants have continued in the research from the beginning, there are up to two generations; those of the first generation have already died, but now we study the children, and there are already more than 1,300, between 50 and 70 years old. We are still collecting data!
Do they still make interesting finds?
Yes of course. Now we are investigating personal experiences in the pandemic, there are questions about the use of social networks, the effect of the digital revolution... We believe these are the most important subjects for human development at this time. We study topics such as mental and physical health, social relationships or working life, which are common topics over the decades, but we also ask about current issues such as the pandemic or the use of screens...
"Living surrounded by loving relationships protects our body and mind," they say. They have proven that social relationships are the key to happiness. Why is it so?
This fact surprised us a lot, we did not believe the data when we found that social relationships protect physical health.
What is the mechanism for good relationships to protect against cardiovascular or joint disease?
The best hypothesis: social relationships help us regulate stress. When we have a challenge, it is crucial that the body returns to a balance and we have found that if something bad happens to us and we can go home and tell our partner, friends or children, the body balances. Being able to call a friend on the phone is a huge part of good relationships.
Loneliness causes diseases, you say... How does it affect us?
Loneliness is a global pandemic. Lonely people are in a constant flight or fight state, and their cortisol, the stress hormone, goes up a lot. Single people also have much higher levels of inflammation. These changes, which are chronic, damage many systems in the body. That is why loneliness can cause cardiovascular or joint diseases, as well as depression, anxiety, cognitive loss, and mental and psychiatric discomfort. People who feel lonely have more memory loss.
Men, the study says, have fewer friends than women. Are women happier?
It is difficult to compare it because there are other variables. For example, women have more burden in the couple, at home, outside the home (because of the social organization we have), that is why marriage is not as happy for women as it is for men. It is not possible to say that women are happier than men. Women, yes, are more sociable, have greater relationships. Men have it differently, they are more likely to do things, play sports, play soccer... Among women it is more common to chat, explain things to each other, they grow up with the expectation of having someone with whom they can share confidences, in whom they trust, and men not so much.
He says that friendship must be worked on, like muscles in the gym. Is it very easy to neglect friends?
Take care of friends! We have a lot of work, we have to take care of the children… It is very easy to ignore relationships and friends. Many people have friendships that have atrophied from neglect, from neglect. The happiest people are those who take care of friends and relationships, those who maintain frequent contact with the important people in their lives, with calls, emails, regular meetings... With my colleague Marc Schulz, with whom I have written the book, we are friends for 30 years, and we call each Friday at 12 noon! We work together, but we also talk about family and life. Regular contact is very important.
Creating new relationships also brings health and well-being. As?
It is easier to make new friends doing activities that we like and are important to us: sports, volunteering, other activities... Doing things with people who have the same interests is an easy way to build relationships, start conversations with strangers, have topics to talk about . You have to think: what do I like to do and how can I do it with other people?
How much well-being do co-workers bring us?
A Gallup investigation studied 15 million workers around the world, of all ages. The question was: "do you have a good friend at work?" Only 30% answered yes, and those 30% worked better, earned more money, and did not change jobs regularly. 70% said they had no friends at work, were much less happy, and much less committed to the company. The productivity of the company depends on the happiness of the workers, and this depends on having good personal relationships.
Can coffee or afterwork be much more productive than bosses and employers think?
Having coffee with your colleagues, playing soccer with your colleagues or doing something together can be much more productive than other activities, and can make the company more money. Gallup's research asked CEOs and company executives if they felt lonely, and more than 50% said yes. There is a lot of loneliness among executives, so the change in work culture must start with the top.
Money can give happiness if it serves to cover basic needs, but after a certain level, it seems that it does not bring us well-being...
There was conflicting research on the subject. Two weeks ago a cooperative study was published between two bosses who had a conflict, one said that happiness increases with salary, and the other said no. It has been seen that if a person is not happy, he cannot look for that happiness in his salary. Now, it is very important to have your needs covered, enough money to be able to live.
He says that from the age of 45 happiness increases. Is it so? Why happens?
Yes, approximately yes. There are many good investigations on this subject and they show that human beings become happier with age, with old age, when we understand that we will all die, that the understanding and comprehension of death makes us happier. How is it possible? When we understand death, we choose to live life differently: we stop doing things out of obligation, activities we don't like, meetings that don't bring us anything... With age we prioritize well-being and the moment. In English we say we stop and smell roses (we stop and smell the roses), we take advantage of the small moments so that we give more value to life.
How do social networks and screens affect social relationships?
We are very concerned about this issue. There is research underway, and it indicates that the most important thing is how we use the networks. If we actively use the internet to connect with others, well-being increases. A friend was connecting with his childhood friends during the pandemic and now they have coffee together every Sunday, via Zoom! It is wonderful. But when we consume the content of the networks, on Instagram, for example, the edited lives, our well-being decreases. We publish the happiest photos, of vacations, of meals… And that leads us to think: “Everyone has a wonderful life, except me”.
Is it more dangerous for young people?
It is especially dangerous for adolescent girls, because anxiety and pressure levels rise when consuming the content of the networks. Education is needed on this subject, on how to use the Internet to increase well-being, and to avoid platforms that depress us.
Time and attention are key. We must be careful with the people and activities to which we dedicate time and attention. If we are not, can we go through life on autopilot?
Yes, it is difficult to focus attention because of the digital revolution. The networks are created to keep our attention prisoner, which is why it is crucial to direct our attention to the one we want. If not, we go to the screens. It is necessary to put active intention. Also, it is necessary to stop and think about the direction of my life. We asked study participants how being part of it affected them, and many said it was very positive because they knew that every year we would ask them how their lives were going, and what they were doing. These questions made them reflect regularly and not live on autopilot.
This article was originally published on RAC1.
