The phases of grief: how to deal with a stage of mixed emotions

Grief after the death of a loved one is an individual process, as unique, different and particular as there are people who experience it.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
25 June 2023 Sunday 10:31
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The phases of grief: how to deal with a stage of mixed emotions

Grief after the death of a loved one is an individual process, as unique, different and particular as there are people who experience it. Faced with the loss of a loved one, it is common to feel a diversity of emotions, even conflicting ones, such as sadness, frustration, anger, confusion, sometimes the feeling of guilt, also calm or loneliness for not having someone to share with memories and experiences that are unique and exclusive.

Professionals affirm that grief can be separated into different stages that are common and habitual in all those people who experience it. Despite this, experts also affirm that not all people necessarily go through all these stages, nor in this same specific order, so grief can manifest itself in different ways and at different times for each of the people who experience it.

In the most common cases, the environment of the deceased person can experience an initial phase defined as a stage of denial when this sensation can serve to calm the blow and delay that part of the pain that, at some point, will come and force these same people affected to face reality.

At this point, it is common to enter the second stage, known as the stage of anger, which involves feelings of anger, frustration, perhaps resentment, and a certain feeling of blame for the outcome experienced. All this frequently accompanied by a justified feeling of susceptibility. This is a logical step that calls for, above all, calm and awareness of the moment lived and, very important, understanding that in order to cope with grief in the best way, the essential step is to take care of one's own health, both physical and mental. , and where food, physical activity and rest are essential to have the best state to overcome it.

“As time progresses, a process of acceptance of death is entered into, also known as the “adjustment stage”, where every person who experiences grief begins to accept the new reality and where mechanisms are sought, each one of their own, to adapt the day to day in this new context. This is a step where it is important to listen to yourself and look to share these feelings. Talking about it is always a great help and it is also a mechanism that allows one to reposition oneself based on memories and experiences, which help heal wounds.

The last stage of mourning, known as the recovery process, begins at the moment in which the loved one is already remembered in a context of peace and understanding. It is important to bear in mind that in the grieving process, all kinds of feelings are valid to face it, and one of the most important premises is to take care of yourself and allow yourself the time necessary to recover the state of mind prior to the death experienced.

Throughout this process, talking, sharing the pain and memories with friends, family or joining support groups for people who have experienced similar situations can be very useful. Allowing yourself to feel emotions, sharing those feelings, not rushing yourself, defining the process to keep the memory of the deceased person alive and adapting to the new context is key. And in the face of any difficulty, having the support of professionals is highly recommended.

Every grieving process is difficult, but it is possible to overcome it. People need time, care and patience to advance in a field, sometimes new, and where it is necessary to clear the path to end up finding the trail that brings those affected closer to being able to enjoy the memory and the moments lived with the person. deceased.

Coping with and coping with the death of a loved one is always easier when you are surrounded by people who understand and support you. There are funeral companies such as Áltima that, among their services, offer a free team of psychologists, bereavement specialists, and proposals to attend guided bereavement groups that seek to comfort the environment of the person who has died, thus guaranteeing that the duel is only a stage that, although it has to be passed, has to be able to live in the best possible way.