When she decided to be an actress, she already knew about the lights and also the shadows of this universe, the uncertainty it entails and the uncomfortable side of popularity. She is the third generation of the Molina saga, in the media spotlight since she was a child, art seduced her and at 17 she already debuted, with her mother Ángela Molina, in cinema (Jara) and she became popular with Leaving Class. Since then, two decades of career have passed, series such as Physics or chemistry or Loving is forever, classics by Lorca or Ibsen in theater. In October she returned to the big screen (after 12 years) with My Other Jon (“about grief and the goodbyes we fear and treat as taboo”). And she has several works to release, including La casa, by Álex Montoya.
Olivia Tirmarche Molina (Ibiza, 1980) attends the Magazine from her home in Madrid. She seems spontaneous and decisive, hermetic when it comes to issues such as politics or her commitment to social causes. She apologizes in advance in case there are any “interruptions” during the interview: “I'm totally mommy, with the little one, and I'll go out soon to pick up the oldest.” Vera is 11 years old and Eric is 8, “we are now entering another stage, but still in full upbringing.” Her partner, Sergio Mur, is also an actor, so “we take turns.” She has just returned to Madrid after six months of filming in Barcelona.
How was the filming? And the distance?
I just finished. It is a daily series for Disney and I am at that moment when you return to reality, to take your place. In this job we have to be prepared to make a life change from 0 to 100 in just days. You get used to it, but when you return you have to redo routines. In these months, luckily every Friday, as they said “cut!” I was going straight to the train back to Madrid. I studied while commuting and was at home on the weekend. I am seasoned at intermittency, I have not done anything else in my life.
Reconciling is not easy, neither now nor before. As a child, did she suffer from her mother's absences for filming? Is she worried about repeating it?
Yes, the things that have affected me or that were more difficult for me to digest as a child, I try to do them in a more conscious way. Not because she didn't do it that way, but because I know what I was missing. I have tried to maintain a lot of communication, to be present in another way. Not to heal that girl who had those absences through parenting, because that is done in therapy, but to polish the way I face this job. It is not a criticism of my parents, who did it out of absolute love and I am extremely grateful because all of this has made me who I am. But as a mother and woman of another generation, I try to do what works best for me and my family.
Like privacy for your children.
Yes, it is a thoughtful decision. I've been learning, I didn't ask myself those questions before. Since I was little I have appeared in magazines. It affected me, yes. I thought, when it came to choosing, I would do it differently. I wanted to preserve their privacy, decide which places we go to and which we don't. Now we add the network component, a challenge to educate them in certain principles. Getting them out on the internet is... it's hard for me. I've learned it as I go, of course. Sometimes I have done it, sometimes I have regretted it. Trial and error. I am on a path of learning, of feeling more coherent.
What kind of mother is she?
I'm discovering myself. I am involved. I try to always be on the question, not to assume that I know them all. Always question myself: How can I do it better? In work mode, active in my role as a mother. It's just that I'm passionate about it. Children evolve non-stop and you by their side. I try to be awake to their changing needs. I love it, I enjoy it very much. I think it's what I like most in life.
Have you become more vulnerable as a mother?
Yes, a lot. I have always been very sensitive and opening myself to this unconditional love has made me more vulnerable outwardly and inwardly, to who I am and who I am not, to what I offer to the world. More permeable to pain. Vulnerability, tenderness, seem to me to be essential tools in a world so aggressive, so armored. Life is not simple. I don't know if being like this is a virtue or a decision. It seems like a weapon to me, a place to return to, so as not to become desensitized. There is so much continuous information that sometimes I feel like I become a little robotic, for survival, to digest the images or daily challenges. Returning to what has made me discover motherhood, to flow with life, saves me, brings me back to the present.
What does she like about herself?
Oh, how this question bothers me! I'm super modest. It is very difficult for me to receive praise, it makes me feel super uncomfortable, that should be answered by others.
And what would you like to change?
Let's see, let's see... I would like to not be rigid in terms of my self-concept, the idea that one has of oneself, allow myself to expand, add new ideas of who I am and leave behind other, old ones, labels like "I'm afraid." ”. I like to be in movement, to be flexible, rigid things scare me a little. I allow myself to change my mind, contradict myself and at the same time look for coherence between what I think, what I feel and what I say.
He has said that the weight of the last name caused him great insecurity. Were you worried about not being up to par, not knowing how to differentiate yourself?
They are stages that I have worked on in privacy. With such powerful references you feel like a drop in that ocean, you feel compared, you feel less, you want more... You go through all of that, obviously. It is the hat that I have had to wear and I wear it with total dignity. Those internal battles have made me who I am.
How did you overcome it?
With therapy, I have needed and have always chosen a space for self-exploration that has helped me put the pieces together, unravel difficulties and realize the advantages. Because it has been a gift, of course, to have an incredible teacher and so many cultural stimuli since I was a child. But I have had to work to define myself: how I am as an actress, how I want to educate my children and experience absences; rename my way of being in the profession, of mothering.
Have you suffered misgivings from colleagues?
No, I haven't experienced that, mind you. They have told me that sometimes, yes, but: what is my fault? I have received a lot of love from people who knew my family's history. And respect. We are cultural workers, we do not live from privilege. There is no need to romanticize it, it has its wonderful side and another very hard side. It is what makes me respect the family legacy and my decision to continue in it. I know what it implies, it's not just fireworks.
He has shared jobs with his mother. Two examples: 'The Graduate' in theater, 'The fence' on television... Do you feel more pressure or more confidence when acting with her?
It has evolved based on my own safety. As I have matured, so has our way of working together. At first I was embarrassed. I wanted to show her: “look how nice I do it, mom.” Then we began to see how different we are, recognizing each other and enjoying working together, each other's background, which is a wealth. I have learned to do it.
Twenty-three years of career. Is it being as you imagined?
No, it's being much more real. I'm not very ambitious, I never have been. She always asked me: will I be able to make a living from this when I have a family? My doubts were more about that than about where I will end up. I am more of a pick and shovel than aspiring to very high places.
What are you most proud of?
Having done theater in depth, works that have allowed me to understand the job firsthand, making television. Above all, proud to be able to make a living from this. That is my great achievement. I don't take anything for granted. I don't know this will always continue like this or if one day I will have to reconvert. Before I lived it more lightly, since I became a mother it bothers me more.
Are you worried about the passage of time?
I am 43 years old, well fought. They are a gift and a conquest, especially in this society where we are bombarded all the time with how to age well. I am in a serene, happy moment and full of challenges, such as birthdays. It worries me and occupies me. It seems like a journey, saying goodbye to the old “I” that is ceasing to be, and it is a duel, and welcoming your new image, your maturity. I like to have references, inspiring women on that path. Now it has opened up a lot, before we were more enslaved on this issue. I like to feel free and find my way to embrace maturity.
Do you take good care of yourself?
It goes in stages. Raising and working is complicated. Yes, I go running, doing yoga, having coffee with a friend, for me all this is taking care of myself: a massage, a museum... Moments of slowing down. Like therapy, which is a fixed tool in my life. I also like to write and paint, as something intimate, without pretense about anything. Tools that help me connect, spaces that I need to feel balanced and at ease.
