On Monday I was about to grab two friends by the scruff of the neck when I saw that they were leaving me all alone with the pochas at the Gorria in Barcelona. The blood did not reach the river: we shared caviar from the garden, now that it is in season.
What is happening to us men at the table? Are we fools? Have we lost the key?
I already understand – you can call me sexist, merengue or dorsian – that women ask for light dishes. Of those typical of "healthy food". It is enough to set foot in a residence to see that few men achieve the privilege!
The masculinity of the 21st century demands a redesign of the identity and, incidentally, saying amen to things about which you would disagree but dare not even comment. I am willing, for example, not to open my mouth about Rocío Carrasco, who reigns in Telecinco, elevated to a feminist icon so he tweeted on a set about his ex.
What I am not ready to accept is sharing a table with friends who babble views and do not ask for what they really want, bewildered by the weight of an imposed guilt, perceptible in the alibis: the belly, the monastic health or those readings inadvisable like the lists of foods to avoid, which include gems like beans, stews to dip bread in and desserts that I wouldn't share for fear of dying (fried milk, rice pudding, Santa Teresa toast... .).
Intransigence? And a lot! Intransigence to turn lunches between friends into a demonstration of sensitivity, health and moderation. Coolest for romantic dates! It hurts me that loved ones are left wanting to enjoy this or that dish. Why do we like to stay for lunch with friends? To talk about the IPC, the Midcat or the sadness of Unamuno in Paris? We remain to officiate a liturgy without sins or sinners, where everything can be immoral, incorrect and inappropriate without anyone scolding you: the good table, which exalts friendship.
Thank God, my friends are unscrupulous people who skip what needs to be skipped – pocket included – when we share a table. Just in case they serve us quinoa salad every night in heaven...