With Teresa de Jesús, whom she brings to life in her latest film, Blanca Portillo shares faith, a vital 'priesthood' and even more than one moment of ecstasy. There is a big difference between them: if the former was moved by her love for Christ, the Madrid actress is driven by an infinite passion for acting, which also sometimes provokes “electric emotions.”
With an admirable resume, he overflows with humility, common sense, and overwhelming sympathy. This is how he showed himself, a few months ago, when collecting his Sur award at the Malaga festival, in jeans and a T-shirt, without makeup, as the “human being stripped of luxuries and costumes” that he is.
At 60 years old, this multi-award-winning actress (Goya for Maixabel, National Theater Award...) and in cinema premieres Teresa by Paula Ortiz, in which she gives life to Saint Teresa of Jesús, in a free adaptation of The Language in Pieces of Juan Mayorga (a year ago the actress played her 'alter ego' in Silencio). She is affable and smiling, she answers the phone from Madrid, where she lives, and transmits a passion that she hopes not to lose over the years.
He will soon come to Barcelona for a while and return to the stage, at the Teatre Nacional de Catalunya, with The Mother of Frankenstein, based on the novel by Almudena Grandes. She brings her faithful companion, her dog Eduardo. "I can't imagine life without him anymore, he comes with me. I can't be separated from him for a month and a half! I have someone who stays with him when I'm away for a few hours. He's like a little angel come down from heaven who has come to brighten my life ”.
Why is it worth reviewing the figure of Saint Teresa?
She is a woman who changed the status quo, changed the world in some way and there are few people in history like that. There is something about her that is eternal. She was a great fighter, a transformer, a woman in doubt, in contradiction, and that is so brave in these times! It seems that we cannot have contradictions. She is a great model. If you saw her dressed in jeans and talking about the things she talks about, you would say: "this concerns me." She is timeless in that sense.
What values should we buy from his speech?
We must not forget that she is a woman, very important, in a world of men that I don't know if it has changed so much. She was a pioneer in fighting for what she believed in with such firmness and without shouts or fuss, that she has so much courage, from deep conviction and inner fortitude and despite that, doubting. She was a woman who looked at the world around her and wanted to change what seemed unfair to her.
Are you a believer?
No, I'm not, at first I felt like that could be a handicap. Then I discovered that we have common things. I remember a very nice conversation with Paula, the director, in which I told her: “not being a believer, I can only compare that infinite love that Teresa has for God with what I feel about my own profession.” Juan Mayorga always tells me that I exercise my profession in a priestly manner, with absolute dedication and with the faith and conviction that it can improve the world. From there I looked for my connection with her.
Do you always look for that part that unites you with the character?
What unites you and what separates you. I made my personal foray into the world of the Carmelites, I went to a convent for a few days, to see how these women live their faith, to try to find out that “closure is freedom.” It is very transformative. And I understood many things. Nowadays we talk little about spirituality and I think it is important. We live in a terrifying pragmatism and human beings are something more than that. We must mobilize it, be aware of it, because it is our privilege. It doesn't matter if you are a believer or not, in one God or another, it is more about faith in human beings, the pursuit of beauty. I think that these are very little used values and that we should recover.
Sometimes a sexual reading has been made of Saint Teresa's visions and moments of ecstasy, of how intensely she lived her faith. What do you think of her, after immersing yourself in her world?
I describe it, more than the external skin, the skin of the soul, of having the inner sensitivity to the surface. For me, this work produces emotions that nothing else produces, sensations of ecstasy, of feeling that you are a channel, that things happen beyond you, very strong emotions, electrical sensations that you can feel. It has a physical part, but I wouldn't associate it with sexuality.
After forty years of profession, do you lose hope? Does one get used to so many praises and awards?
This profession gives you incredible opportunities. I don't get used to almost anything (laughs). I still have enormous curiosity, a constant desire to discover. It is a driver of life not only professionally but also with the way you approach life. Life always surprises me, I find it exciting. It is a way of looking at the world.
It's a virtue, isn't it?
I think so, there is something almost childlike, about discovering the world, that everything fascinates them, and that we should never lose.
It seems that the years steal that strength, that curiosity...
Yes, you become a disbeliever... That's sad, I don't want that to happen to me.
What do you need to do in the profession?
I have never thought about what is missing. If you set some goals and you meet them, then what, do I retire? I always think that the next thing will be another challenge, for sure.
Direct, write?
There are many facets to this world and I am interested in all of them. I am very restless ass. I have produced, I have directed...Writing seems the most difficult to me but it is one of the things I would most like to do. I would love to, I'll get on. I'm not in a hurry, things happen when they have to happen.
Do you feel that mature women are ceasing to be invisible? Better projects, more directors, screenwriters, producers...
That's right, in my job and everywhere. Experience is also a degree. We begin to stop being invisible and have an opinion. Look, listen to me, I have a certain experience in that, listen. There are women reaching places that allow other women to show themselves. It's time, this is unstoppable.
Would you say that culture loses weight in this society that is stressed and abducted by networks?
That's one of my fears, that's why I dedicate myself to this too, to try to make it not disappear. This is my pulpit, I am not in Parliament and I am not an influencer (laughs). I have my place to make it clear that culture is what makes you grow, not money or success but thinking, understanding other people's things. Look, like Teresa, listen to your own contradictions. That's what culture gives you.
You have turned 60. How are you holding up?
I don't feel bad about it, at first I do. I said ayy!!, the number change, you know. You think that you have less ahead of you than what you have already experienced. But I don't feel that bad either. I am healthy, I enjoy, I play in life. I'm not one to take stock, but lately, as they remind me of what's behind me, they force me to look. I always look ahead, but they tell you... it's been going on for no how many years, no how many movies... then you say, well yes, it's true.
Any plans you don't want to stop doing?
I'm not in a hurry, I feel impulses that will arrive when they have to arrive. I've never squeezed. I have wished for things that fortunately have come true, because when you set the desire and the goal, if you do it honestly, I believe it ends up happening. Now, I would love to get behind a camera, for example. In '99, when I created the production company, I thought: I don't know if I'll know. But I said to myself: “Try it! The important thing, above all, is to surround yourself with intelligent and good people. I want to direct theater again, to study things. I really want many things. Also to rest, ha ha!
And stop wasting time with certain things or people??
Yes, prioritize things that I have previously left a little abandoned. I have to take care of my personal life. Listen to myself, how my mind is, my heart. It's not all about work. Nurture you so I can then pour it into my profession. Sometimes I tell myself: “You haven't stopped in 40 years, baby, let's see if you can rest a little.” Try to prioritize, not wear yourself out, invest your effort in what you are convinced is worth it.
A couple of adjectives that define it?
I have no idea, wait, let's see... soon, look... Obsessive, demanding.
And a defect?
Both, the same.
What makes you happiest about how you are managing your life?
I can look in the mirror, I feel that I have not betrayed myself, I have not sold myself, I deceive myself little and that is a good achievement. Look in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself: 'Look, you're cool, I get along well with you.'
He has said that he loves solitude, not having married. But she also commented that she was looking for someone with the same idea of a relationship as hers. Have you found that person?
No.
Does it remain free, at its own pace?
Yes (laughs). Coexistence has never been part of my plans, honestly. Couple without cohabitation yes, of course. It is also true that certain women scare some men a little. The more constructed your life is, the scarier you are. The opposite happens with them. The more control over their lives, the more attractive they seem to us.
I mean, now he's not in a relationship...
No, which doesn't mean I'm alone. And that's it, up to here, ha ha.
Are you worried about the tension in the streets?
Whoever doesn't worry is that it is a wooden dowel. It's disturbing. I am convinced that the tension will end up lowering. It's a bit of a Teresa thing. When someone moves the ground, people get scared and some react violently or fearfully. I think we have to live step by step and have calm and respect. I respect! That is given by culture and education.
What do you think of the new president?
It is not a topic that I want to talk about, since everything is usable and I prefer not to give an opinion, because I know what happens, I have already experienced it. It worries me as a citizen and I look forward to seeing what they do in the next four years, it keeps me alert, but as an artist I prefer to maintain a certain hygiene.
What actions would you take if you had power?
I think they forget so much about culture! Obviously, there are issues of survival, it is basic to work, to have a home, but there is something of the good of a country that has to do with its education and its culture. I would make a radical change. It seems that the Ministry of Culture is the last.
Is it true that you came to the theater for love?
It was a platonic love, it was not a love that I expected to lead to bed. He was a teacher of mine, a fascinating man, of enormous culture and he opened my eyes, among other things, to theater. We are still very friends, he is a wonderful person, he comes to see my works. I presume that he is the one who somehow inoculated me with that poison and thanks to him I am where I am.
How have you been overcoming your insecurities?
Coming to the conclusion that if you make a mistake, no one dies. Error is a right, if it doesn't go well today, it may tomorrow. Otherwise, you want to leave! This profession includes infinite insecurity...That is in the contract that the devil makes you sign when you decide to dedicate yourself to this. So you should tell yourself: It's okay, if you don't work today you will do it tomorrow. Trust! Breathe.
What are you afraid of?
Oh friend, to many things! To the disappointment, to the emotion passing away, I don't want it to pass away. I hope the years don't dull me.
