"We need to put an end to universities, religions and homelands"

Challenging political power is something readers of Fernando Vallejo (Medellín, 1942), the author of La Virgen de los sicarios (1994), are used to.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
14 July 2023 Friday 16:59
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"We need to put an end to universities, religions and homelands"

Challenging political power is something readers of Fernando Vallejo (Medellín, 1942), the author of La Virgen de los sicarios (1994), are used to. His books and speeches tend to be bathed in a large dose of explosive fury, which he uses to point out all those who corrupt the system. He already did it in Memorias de un hijueputa and repeats it in La conjura contra Porky (Alfaguara), newly arrived in bookstores. But this time, the winner of the Rómulo Gallegos prize narrates the disgust and eagerness to bring down Colombian and religious institutions from a very different point of view: that of his own death.

What is a Porky?

A Porky is all President of Colombia: any harmful clown son of his mother like the one we have now, and what's his name? The names of these disgusting people always confuse me.

And Colombia? With what adjectives would you define it and why?

In The conspiracy against Porky it is defined as follows: "Colombia daughter of a whore, daughter of Spain". And why the history of the two countries has answered it countless times with irrefutable arguments.

He said at the Bogotá book fair that the purpose is to unmask "public parasites who, with red tape and bureaucracy, with barriers and taxes, are attacking us and are suffocating us, they don't let us breathe". When did it start with this purpose?

Around the age of seven, when I came to my senses and made my first communion and chewed the wafer. The wafer could not be chewed? I chewed it. And look at how good the Church and Colombia are with me: one still doesn't excommunicate me, and the other still doesn't kill me.

In its pages, it makes clear its concern that the country has more and more candidates for the presidency. He says that "children of bad mothers are coming in and out of the palace of Nariño"...

exactly It is a truth that all Colombians know: some enter and others leave. As for the word hideputa, it was taught to me by Don Quixote. How well Cervantes wrote! And what a beautiful creation, that of that gentleman with a clean heart but dirty tongue. Don Quixote loved to insult.

Mothers don't do very well... What's wrong with them?

Today, we are eight billion. Does it seem like a small problem that they don't stop giving birth?

Man is born bad and society makes him worse, he says in the book. What is it based on?

Well, in personal experience. In the many decades I have lived.

Universities are not spared either. He describes them as "scam centers" and encourages parents to take their children out of them.

exactly Scam centers And there are explanations: universities glow in the dark. We must put an end to it and add it to the extermination of religions and homelands.

With music, he enjoys it more. Why was Cuco Sánchez's ideal for you to set up a funeral theater?

Because of the great love I have always had for this Mexican singer, only comparable to the hatred I have for Bach.

Does the notebook in which he records deaths exist? If so... what was the last one you signed up for? And the first?

The last one I wrote down just today, a few hours ago: Heriberto Fiorillo, the organizer of the Arts Festival in Barranquilla, a very hot Colombian city, with climate and sex. I don't know what the first one was, because when I started the notebook I already had a lot of dead people. I opened it with about five hundred and nowadays I go for five thousand.