Golden, diamond, platinum weddings... We often ask ourselves what is the secret of couples who stay together for life, but what should we do to stay truly satisfied within marriage? The increase in life expectancy together with a general change in the mentality of society forces us to approach love and sex in old age from a new perspective according to the age of the couple. Sexual and affective development within marriage is not a constant, but with a few simple guidelines you will be able to keep the flame of love alive.
Normally, arousal and, therefore, sexual activity, decrease as age advances. There are conditions such as the appearance of health conditions, although most are not disabling for sex, but also opportunities for greater intimacy due to the reduction in responsibilities during retirement. According to the professor of Psychology of Sexuality at the University of Salamanca, Félix López Sánchez, sexuality in old age has its own characteristics, and it is most likely that those couples who enjoy it the most are those who have spent the previous stages together.
Stimulation is a determining and necessary aspect in a period in which arousal is slower, an opportunity to make this practice "more pleasant, both to give it and to receive it" —says López—. The availability of more time and privacy also gives couples the freedom to have relationships when and how they really want. Another effective dynamic to reduce stress and anxiety levels is to deliberately allow contact with your partner. Getting 30 centimeters away face to face and invading the other's personal space through caresses or hugs can become a good exercise to reinforce your intimacy.
A crucial strategy to maintain the flame of love is to try to have common purposes. The search for new hobbies such as, for example, ballroom dancing, sports or gardening can be a great shock to relationships. According to research from the Stannah blog, 60% of people over the age of 65 have discovered a new skill after retirement.
Adopting a pet or cultivating a garden will allow you to take on new responsibilities and will increase your concern and empathy for each other. Other simpler activities, programmed or improvised, such as a walk through nature or an afternoon at the movies will also help you escape from the monotony and encourage conversations around them.
One way to remember why you fell in love is to go to the place where you met or to the places you used to visit when you were dating. This exercise will help you to remember all the happy moments you have lived, your growth over the years and to see your relationship with a new perspective for the future.
Praising the virtues, respecting the hobbies or trying to make the other smile with the things that amuse them are other details with which you will be able to show your partner that they continue to be important to you. And it is that in the small details reside the pillars of a relationship as healthy and rewarding as it is lasting.
