The meaning of Sylvia Comas's life changed completely when she learned to live it consciously and calmly. Mindfulness was the driving force behind her transformation, to the point that she left a successful career as a business executive to dedicate herself professionally to persevering on the path of mindfulness and sharing it. "Teaching is a way of practicing it day by day," she confesses.
Instructor in Stress Reduction (MSBR) from the University of Massachusetts, Sylvia Comas is also certified in the MBCL protocol (Mindfulness Based on a Life of Compassion) and together with Erik van den Brink and Frits Koster has just published Mindfulness with a heart (Mindfulness with a heart). Koan), a book to read and practice with downloadable audios that allows you to advance in eight weeks towards the development of care, kindness and compassion. With few prerequisites, but a clear one. "To practice mindfulness, turn off your phone first," she warns.
How did you come to full consciousness?
I started practicing yoga in 92, a bit by chance. At that time I was a manager of a company in the luxury world, I was quite stressed and I noticed that I felt much better when I finished a yoga session.
Was that the first step?
Years later, following my father's death, I began to practice Zen meditation from time to time. And later I completed my first MSBR program. That course meant a whole change for me. It allowed me to realize the big difference there was between doing something for a while and that being a way of living, of being present in life, of relating with more consciousness. It was something progressive. Until I saw that if I dedicated myself to it professionally it would be a good way to continue practicing.
And what interested you the most?
That mindfulness is a practice of personal development, of consciousness. It is not so much paying attention, which is the means, but thanks to it we see more clearly, we understand more things, we see more options for responses to what happens, not only from reactivity and automatisms. We can live more creatively.
Now it is much better known.
In 2009 I began to dedicate myself more consciously to mindfulness. I would tell you that now it is a known word, almost everyone has heard of it..., but there are fewer people who know what it is and even fewer who practice it.
What didn't fit into your life as an executive?
I saw that the qualities that were important in my managerial life were not necessarily the qualities that seemed relevant to me as a mindfulness instructor. As a female manager I had a lot of pressure and stress in a very masculine environment. One of the qualities she did not develop as an executive was compassion. As a manager, she gave importance to self-demand, perfectionism, effort, discipline, results, being focused on objectives... And sometimes she did this to the detriment of myself. I felt very stressed. There was a moment when I had been working for fifteen years and I questioned whether I wanted to continue the same for fifteen more years. And the answer was no.
And then?
I decided to return to Spain, because I was living in the United States, take a sabbatical year and begin that process that led me to leave the type of activity I was dedicated to. And I don't miss it, really.
¿No?
In any moment.
Is it incompatible to lead a compassionate life and at the same time hold a high executive position?
The people who come to my mindfulness courses end up transforming their lives, but for that to happen in organizations is another level. It is more complicated for an organization to change than for an individual to change.
Is mindfulness about finding peace, in some way?
It is coming into contact with what is there. Be open, accept what is. That would be a simple definition. Its derivative is to understand the wisdom of being present in what there is. When what is there is uncomfortable, painful, generates suffering, it is very difficult to remain present. If you want to cultivate compassion, which is actually being able to come into contact with the suffering associated with a desire to be able to do something to alleviate it, you must have the peace of mind to be able to stay present. A basic mindfulness practice helps to display compassion.
In the book he explains that the human brain has evolved to survive. Do we have to go from homo sapiens to homo lucidus or conscius to fully enjoy life?
Yes, the truth is yes. Science has identified what they call the mindful part of the brain, which is in the prefrontal cortex. That part is developed with meditation, and it is what allows us to regain control when the amygdala kidnaps us, as Daniel Goleman said. It occurs when there are situations that we perceive as dangerous. One of the effects of meditation is that it helps you not react in situations that can trigger fear or anger. It helps you maintain balance and assess what is the best response if you have a conflict with your partner or your boss.
Where does mindfulness take us?
Mindfulness helps you be present, see, observe and be aware of what is happening. And in that context, know what is most appropriate. A participant in one of the intensive weekend courses told me, at the end, that this mindfulness thing is about being a better person. I quite liked that idea. It's about how we can display the best version of ourselves.
Can everyone meditate?
Yes, in general, yes. It is true that it is inadvisable in some specific psychological conditions. If someone is in the hole, in a deep depression, it is not the best time to start meditating. In general, I ask that people who are going to practice mindfulness with me consult first with their therapist, if they have one.
And once you have trained, do you achieve that awareness every time you try it?
It is tried, of course. Intention is very important in mindfulness, like everything in life: when you pay attention to what happens without prejudice, you have a better chance of it coming true. Although I had the difficulties that anyone has. Mindfulness is a simple practice, but that doesn't mean it's easy. That is why it is valuable to treat it in a planned way, with the help of a coach, a facilitator who accompanies you in the process. It requires a lot of discipline.
More than to read, the book is to practice.
It is a workbook of this compassion training protocol, of deepening mindfulness. It is easier to do it if you already have an initiation, but the books come when they come, and perhaps a person who reads it without a foundation in mindfulness will want to start.
What results have you noticed in your life with mindfulness?
I feel calmer, more relaxed, I have more peace of mind, I am less reactive. Before she had a tendency to be impulsive. I live more deliberately, calmly, at my own pace. One of the problems I see in people is that the pace of life is very fast, and cell phones have accelerated it: we are hyperconnected, we have to give immediate answers, and our brain is not designed to go at that speed. When I was little I went to the Costa Brava with my grandparents and there was no phone all weekend. That is not possible anymore. It is no longer possible to disconnect. Practicing mindfulness helps you take the time to pause. Not only in summer, on vacation or at Christmas, but in your everyday life.
Do you notice that people come to your sessions hooked on their mobile phones?
People say they realize they are hooked. In mindfulness and compassion programs there is a day of intensive practice in which you cannot speak and people are asked to disconnect their cell phones. Curiously, a few years ago what struck them most when they finished was the silence they had experienced. Now, what they say most is that they are happy for having been able to spend the entire day without looking at their cell phone. There is life without eight hours on a cell phone.
How important is breathing in mindfulness?
Look, breathing is used as an object of meditation, as a support for attention. You observe the breath as it occurs, without controlling it. One of the effects is that it will take more or less time, but it will calm down, it will calm down, even if you don't intend to.
The calm again...
Having the intention to calm down is good, but when we meditate we do not do it to relax. Relaxation is something that appears later. The desire to relax is not going to help you: you are not going to achieve it, you are going to become more tense. It's like when you want to sleep: just because you want to sleep doesn't ensure that you'll get it.
And is there any magic formula?
A starter program or a practical book are good ways to learn mindfulness. But then there are simple things one can do. For example: stop, pause and take ten conscious breaths, even at the bus stop, in line at the bakery, before making an important call, when leaving a meeting, before starting at the office, such as moments of transition, pause and ten conscious breaths to see how your internal experience is, connecting with yourself.
