There are certain expressions that become traditional phrases when passed from generation to generation and that are repeated just because they have been heard previously without analyzing the real meaning they have. It is the case of: “If you behave badly, the Kings will not bring you gifts.”
Or, in its less aggressive version: “If you behave well, the Kings will bring you gifts.” Maybe we think that this is a more “positive” message. But is it really?
In general, punishment seeks to stop a certain behavior from continuing, while reinforcement seeks to increase said behavior.
From the psychology of learning, and specifically from the branch of behavioral psychology, we consider that positive reinforcement is that procedure that relates an instrumental response (in this case, behaving well) and an appealing stimulus (having gifts). If the response is given, the reinforcement is given and, on the contrary, if the behavior does not appear, the reward is not given.
You can also use negative reinforcement (“If you behave well, the Three Wise Men will not bring you coal”), in which when performing the instrumental response, an aversive stimulus is removed. Saying “If you don't behave well, the Kings will bring you coal” would be a positive punishment: the aversive stimulus (coal) appears before the response (in this case, misbehaving).
Finally there is the negative punishment: “If you don't behave well, the Kings will not bring you gifts.” That is, in response to a response (misbehaving), something positive is taken away (not receiving gifts from the Three Kings).
It is also important to know the terms extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation. The first occurs when the goal is to obtain something external to the organism (a prize, a gift...) and when it is not there or the possibility of obtaining it disappears, the behavior may stop occurring. However, in the second, the behavior is carried out for reasons internal to the organism that are not observable (self-esteem, competence...) being more stable as it does not depend on an external agent.
There is no one better than the other, it depends on the circumstances; Furthermore, both can occur at the same time. For example, a girl may study hard because she wants to get good grades (extrinsic motivation) and also to feel proud of herself (intrinsic motivation).
As much as the message of “if you behave well, the Kings will bring you gifts” may seem positive to us, in reality, the threat of punishment underlies it. Because the boy or girl will understand: if I behave well, the Kings bring me gifts, but what if they consider that I am not behaving well? The implicit answer is: I will not have gifts.
This causes a situation of fear, which will cause the behavior to be carried out, but not because the appropriate learning has been internalized, but only to prevent the fear of not receiving gifts from becoming a reality.
What medium and long-term effects does this message have? Well, when the possibility of receiving the aversive stimulus is removed, the fear disappears and the response stops occurring. That is, once the Kings have come, we will have to look for a new extrinsic positive reinforcement to continue achieving the same response. And so we will have to look for new extrinsic reinforcements for good behavior without ever instilling it in a lasting way.
Many times, we use terms that are difficult for a child to understand. “Behaving well” is something ambiguous, or at least subjective. That is why it is common for younger boys and girls, when Christmas approaches and they see themselves surrounded by references to the Three Wise Men, Santa Claus and gifts, innocently ask their elders: “And have I been good this year?” anus?"
It is not a realistic message either. As the child probably suspects, it is highly unlikely that she will go without gifts. In addition, we are offering a prize that is given once a year, forcing a delay in reinforcement. This delay causes the palatable stimulus to reduce its value and motivation to decline.
If we want our messages to have a positive and sustained effect on the behavior of the little ones, we should:
The next time we are about to encourage our sons or daughters to be good so that the Three Wise Men bring them many gifts, we can remember that there are less materialistic and threatening alternatives.
This article was originally published on The Conversation. Marta Peña Ramos is a specialist in Health Psychology from the International University of Valencia.
