Many positive associations fall on summer. The heat that gives rise to more entertaining leisure plans, longer days, vacations... But a negative connotation also hangs over it when it comes to relationships: an increase in breakups.
Many believe that this trend is explained by high temperatures, which put our patience and tolerance against the ropes. We are more apathetic and we feel like nothing more than sitting by the fan instead of going on a date with our partner. But the truth is that the heat is not to blame for the increase in breakups, separations and divorces in summer and vacations. What are the real reasons?
Silvia Congosto, an expert psychologist in emotional dependence, self-esteem and toxic relationships, compiles in her blog the real reasons why there are more separations and divorces after the summer holidays. In the first place, she points out that the crisis, problems and conflicts come from before and have been dragging on for some time. It is not that the obstacles in the couple arise spontaneously in the summer, but that they emerge and reach their peak in the vacation period, since you spend more time together. “By not being subjected to the stress of the daily routine and having fewer responsibilities, we focus more on what is not working in the relationship and on our partner's defects,” explains Congosto.
Secondly, he maintains that by spending more time together, arguments and stress increase. “Many people are overwhelmed in the summer when time with their partner and with their children increases considerably when quality time is barely shared on a day-to-day basis,” he explains.
The next point that the psychologist highlights is the lack of communication. These are usually couples who have not faced –but rather avoided– their differences and misunderstandings during the rest of the year, where communication does not flow. Consequently, they argue more in the summer, when they spend more time together on vacation.
You also have to meet high expectations on vacation. We tend to idealize them as a time of enjoyment, believing that everything will be perfect and that we will live unforgettable moments. Unfortunately, these hopes are not always fulfilled, especially if the couple was previously unwell. Finally, a personal crisis in one of the members is another recurring reason. If during the year you have "covered up" this problem with your day-to-day responsibilities, this "explodes in the middle of vacations," warns the psychologist.
What is the solution? Silvia Congost recommends couples therapy to try to solve the problems that have led to the crisis, as long as this does not go against the values of a member of the couple. The alternative would be to propose a conscious separation when the solution to the crisis is unfeasible.
