We need to talk about Harry

Harry Kane, nice name.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
01 April 2024 Monday 11:18
7 Reads
We need to talk about Harry

Harry Kane, nice name. From star singer or Hollywood actor. Halfway, but with more presence, between Harry Styles and Michael Caine. Nice football player too, one of the best in the world, but his brilliant career hides a tragedy.

Coveted in his day by Madrid, Barcelona, ​​Manchester City and other greats, top scorer in the history of the English national team, top scorer in the Premier League in the 21st century, top scorer in the 2018 World Cup, top scorer this season in the Bundesliga, Kane has won fewer trophies than Dmitró Txigrinski, than (reward to whoever remembers him) Rustu Reçber, even than Riqui Puig.

The truth is, at almost 31 years old, and 13 years as a professional, Kane has won nothing. That's it: nothing. Niente , nothing , nada , rien or, as they say in Germany, nichts . Last summer he left the club of his heart, Tottenham, for Bayern Munich, thinking that the spell would be lifted here. Best guarantee possible. Bayern is to the German league what Putin is to the Russian elections. Why bother? He had won the previous eleven German championships in a row.

But not even that. Bayern lost this weekend at home, and extended the gap with the leader, Xabi Alonso's Bayer Leverkusen, to 13 points. At the end of the game, their manager Thomas Tuchel threw in the towel. "Congratulations to Leverkusen," he said.

Nothing to complain about Kane. Congratulations to him too. He's done what he had to do: 31 goals this season, eight short of the most in the Bundesliga, and he's on course to break Robert Lewandowski's all-time record. But as for the teams that Kane plays for, he should be renamed, poor guy, "Harry Kiri". Signing it is suicide.

But there is little to reproach him as a companion. On the contrary, undisputed captain of the English team, he is solidarity made man. Exemplary in the dressing room, he not only scores goals but assists, fights to recover balls, combines well in the middle of the field. He would surely have been a better choice for Pep Guardiola at Manchester City than the lone rider Erling Håland.

And he is a good man, the most perfect man that parents would want their daughter to marry. Except that he is already married, with four children, to a woman he has known since childhood. And no rumor of any affair, a temptation in which one feels that he will hardly fall thanks to his nobility of spirit, or his lack of imagination, or the fact that during the seasons (something never seen in a player from the islands) never touch a drop of alcohol.

On top of that, they're almost sickeningly good people. The Harry Kane Foundation is dedicated to tackling mental health issues among young people. He goes to schools and gives talks to teenagers in which he explains how he has struggled to overcome the pressures of the demanding, if not hopelessly frustrating, life that has come his way. And on top of that he fights for gay rights. In all his matches in the World Cup in Qatar, he took to the field wearing a watch with the colors of the LGBTIQ flag.

There is a statue dedicated to Kane, yes. He secured public funding four years ago in the unspectacular London borough of Chingford, where he was born. The idea had been to put it at Chingford station, but it is still, without dust, in a municipal deposit. Those opposed to it being displayed are a pair of representatives of the City of London who say it would pose a risk to train passengers, which is unlikely. Rather, it may be that the aforementioned are fans of Arsenal (Tottenham's bitter rivals) or are waiting for him to finally win his first trophy.

Kane, who is also a philosopher, is unmoved by what could be interpreted as yet another humiliation. "A statue is a statue", he says. "It will not define my life neither for better nor for worse".

He has one chance left this season to beat his voodoo: the Champions League. Bayern is still alive and you have to have a very hard heart to wish that it doesn't win it, or that it doesn't win something one day, even if it's the Europa Conference League. But maybe it's worth more than not. Perhaps it is better, for more glory, that he defines his life as follows: as the best player who never won anything.