I owe my life to the Pareto principle; it has helped me understand what I have to do in moments of great complexity.
Vilfredo Pareto would feel proud.
This statistical law according to which 20% of the actions condition 80% of the results is applicable to everything: 20% of the population of a country has 80% of the wealth; 80% of the time we use 20% of our clothes, 80% of my happiness depends on 20% of the people I deal with and the situations I find myself in.
Does it also work in the negative?
Yes, 80% of your stress comes from 20% of the situations you experience. When you identify the 20% that causes 80% of your bad results, you can focus on changing that 20%.
What happened to worshiping Pareto?
I was working a lot and getting few results, I asked myself what were the actions that generated 80% of my clientele and I realized that I had it thanks to a video that I uploaded to YouTube one day a month; I decided to do one a day, and I improved a lot.
You need to identify the action that changes the game.
And create habits to enhance it. We are the result of our habits of thought, work, relationships, food... There is a part that depends on luck, but the rest depends on how we interpret what happens and how we relate to it.
Define habits for me.
Behaviors or thoughts that arise from small gestures that, when repeated, become habits. The habit of being pessimistic or optimistic, of brushing your teeth or not, of saving or wasting; most of what we do we do without thinking because it is part of our character.
On December 31, everything is good intentions.
I like that on the 31st we all start dreaming, because that brings us closer to the best version of ourselves.
We left on February 1st.
Dreaming is good because it gives us direction, but to achieve results you need to direct it. Many people say: "I want to lose weight in a year", and most of them weigh more after a year than 12 months before.
And why is this so frustrating?
Because we don't program change. If I want to improve my relationship with my son, I have to study the situation and create new positive habits, like planning something fun to do with him one day a week. One should not ask what the next 12 months will be like, but what you will be like.
What do you suggest?
If you want to change, change the customs that accompany you every day. If not, next year will be like this, like the previous year and like four years ago, there will be a war, someone important will die, there will be new technologies, it will be cold, it will be hot...
Will the difference be in me?
Yes, in how you deal with what happens: will you be better at managing emotions?, will you have better habits to deal with problems?
Why can't we change?
Often the problem depends on the values themselves. When you set a goal that is consistent with your values, you have much more energy to sustain change. Other times we want to change things quickly, and it's easier to do it little by little. And remember that it is very difficult to quit smoking if you are surrounded by smokers, we end up sharing the consumption of the people closest to us.
A common and very elusive purpose is to exercise.
We can ask ourselves how exercise helps me maintain consistency with my values. I, for example, do pilates and paddle once a week.
And what does it have to do with values?
Being fit allows me to play with my children without back pain, a value for me. Another mechanism is that of ideas: different ideas lead us to different actions.
Give me an example, please.
If I think that exercise is exhausting and watching Netflix on the couch relaxes me, I'll opt for Netflix. But if I think that exercising gives me energy and that sitting down to watch Netflix is a waste of time...
Understood.
We can also work with behavior, for example reducing the habit we want to implement to 1%. Don't start by doing 40 push-ups, start with one. The mathematics of habits says that one flexion is worth more than zero, and after a while two and then three..., and don't force yourself.
What is difficult is maintaining a habit.
Every action you take or stop taking is a step for or against your future. If you're not changing it, you're accepting it.
And what do we do with frustration?
Treat her with kindness. What makes the difference is not failing, but trying again.
