How to manage the mental load as a couple

Buy a light bulb to replace the one that has blown.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
14 March 2023 Tuesday 04:12
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How to manage the mental load as a couple

Buy a light bulb to replace the one that has blown. The appointment with the child's tutor. Do laundry. Or lay it out Dog vaccinations. What is commonly known as “running a house”. Cleaning the grease from the kitchen range hood. Pay the sitter. Think about the meals of the week. Call the dentist. What is commonly known as “running a house” is not just cleaning, but the endless number of tasks, those “remember…”, which are made invisible and are one of the main sources of conflict in cohabitation as a couple. It is the mental burden, which mostly falls on women in the case of heterosexual family nuclei.

That constant weight, being aware of everything, causes a mental load that prevents the person suffering from it from resting. And it ends up being unsustainable, since it is as if the working day overlaps with the work of managing and planning household chores, with all that this implies. This brings with it a series of consequences that will affect the health of the person, as well as the well-being of the couple. A situation that will be essential to change.

The mental load brings with it a great exhaustion, since the total responsibility of organizing, planning and coordinating all the tasks that involve the house and the family is faced. Even if the couple does part of these chores, they are freed from all the mental burden that this process of management and constant reminder implies. This, in turn, leads to suffering from high stress that can even lead to anxiety.

In addition, the part of the couple that has the mental load on their shoulders will suffer from frustration and dissatisfaction. Because of the self-demand and the pressure to achieve everything, when many times this will be materially impossible.

In most cases, a couple must face their own personal and professional challenges. Therefore, the part of your life that both share, such as household and family responsibilities, must be shared equally and fairly. For this reason, the main measure that must be taken to manage the mental load consists of rethinking the gender roles of the couple, since they are probably falling into this.

Communication will be an essential factor to reverse this situation, since both parties must be aware of the number of tasks, visible or not, that they are taking charge of. It is even advisable to write a list, so that it is more evident and comparable. The solution will be to change the dynamics of the couple and establish an effective strategy for an equal division.