It can be said that falling in love with your psychotherapist is almost as common as falling in love with a friend, a neighbor or a co-worker. Falling in love is an emotional and psychological process that the climate of intimacy that is generated between client and therapist can favor. In any case, it is a process that is as natural as it is unpredictable and subjective, a side effect of going to therapy. But what exactly do you feel if you fall in love with your psychotherapist?
The psychologist Gorka Jiménez describes in an article for the specialized blog The Mind is Wonderful some of the keys to the patient in love. His perceptions dilate and going to his psychotherapist's office becomes an intense sensory experience, in which sounds or smells become more pleasant.
Another key factor in this infatuation is the patient's projection of the future. The fantasies of sharing plans and projects with the center of your desire, your psychotherapist, denotes the desire for these emotions to last over time, which is a natural and unequivocal sign of love.
The therapeutic relationship facilitates the bond of acceptance and trust that leads to falling in love. They are regular meetings, in the same privacy space, in which the patient addresses a multitude of aspects of her privacy with the intention of being cared for. The role of the psychotherapist is to be interested in the well-being of his patient, but this can cause him to confuse the true objective of the treatment.
If this happens, it is also the therapist who must analyze where he or she is responsible for the patient having fallen in love with him or her. How much or in what ways have you been able to encourage this infatuation? Why did it happen and what are the patient's needs? Has it ever happened before? These are some of the questions that the psychotherapist should ask.
As has already been said, when a patient falls in love with the psychotherapist, it only takes the focus away from the problems that have led them to treatment. If the patient focuses on getting attention or trying to get the therapist to like him, the therapeutic relationship will be harmed and the treatment will objectively cease to make sense.
Ignoring this type of behavior would in any case be a mistake. In these cases, it is best to deal with the situation openly and without taboos. The attitude of the client in love can make psychotherapists deeply uncomfortable, so the best thing they can do when they perceive falling in love is to end the therapeutic relationship and refer the patient to another professional.
