Being parents implies acting as a reference role in the lives of children. You have to raise them, educate them and instill in them good values. To do this there are two ways: fear and respect. There are those who consider that fear is more effective, but nothing is further from the truth. If your children fear you, they will only obey you out of fear of the consequences and not out of a desire to do things right or to make you proud.
In addition, this fear will have a very negative impact on your bond, because your children will not see you as an affectionate figure and in whom they can trust, but rather as someone to fear. Therefore, you should try to embrace positive parenting, based on mutual respect. This is the key to success, if you want your children to respect you, you must respect them too. Setting a good example is the best strategy.
Sometimes, due to ignorance, we impose fear on our children instead of respect. To find out if this is your case, there are a series of signs that will give you clues to find out how your children perceive you and, in turn, are the keys to reversing the situation.
To establish a relationship of respect and trust instead of fear with your children, you must show respect towards them as well. This is based on the foundations of open communication, empathy and understanding. You have to make your children feel heard, validate their emotions and put yourself in their place to treat them with affection.
Instead of scolding them when they do something wrong, patiently teach them how to do it right. Please ask them for things and thank them when they do them. This simple gesture will make a big difference.
Likewise, when it is time to reprimand or punish them for something, it should always be calm, using arguments and justifications that are understandable to them and with reasonable retaliation, not too harsh or excessive.
Finally, make sure you spend quality time with your children. Playing, reading a book to them, making plans together, talking about how their day has gone... This will be key to an affectionate relationship.
