The idea of perfectionism tends to be associated with brilliant minds, iron wills and, ultimately, success and achievement. However, this is just one of the two sides of perfectionism, as it can also become the opposite. That is, an obstacle to achieving the desired objectives, since it can be paralyzing and generate a great feeling of frustration and anxiety.
And for this it is important to distinguish between the perfectionist tendency to do things in the best possible way and pathological perfectionism. The latter being a kind of obsession, which generates feelings of insecurity, fear and distrust of oneself and one's abilities and qualities. The result is that it is not possible to achieve the objectives one wants, since it is never enough. Or it's never enough.
It is advisable to start from the basis that perfectionism, the lack of errors or defects, is a utopian concept in itself. Psychologist Marta Giménez explains the importance of adopting a healthy perfectionist attitude, and this involves “identifying and determining when something is good enough.” The specialist remembers that the prism of perfectionism is based on subjective evaluations and that, if these are unattainable, the result that a perfectionist person will obtain will always be unsatisfactory.
To value a result in a healthy way, it will always have to be viewed with a degree of acceptance of the implicit imperfection or according to a series of standards that are realistic and achievable. This is what is known as frustration tolerance, a key skill for “preserving and overcoming obstacles,” since the satisfaction obtained from what has been achieved pushes people to continue working on their goal. Which implies improvements and, paradoxically, greater perfectionism.
So when is it an obstacle? At the moment when the idea of the impossibility of achieving perfection affects the pursuit of a goal. For example, when you don't do something because “it won't be good enough,” without even trying. The only thing this will do is generate frustration, insecurities, stress, a need for approval and obsessive behavior.
So it is necessary to deconstruct this pathological perfectionism, deconstructing it and fighting it. For example, identifying the standards that have been established and determining whether or not these are realistic. Also avoiding comparisons or generalizations that, far from being helpful, reinforce the obstacles that one places for oneself by hiding behind perfectionism. The psychologist advises doing the opposite of the inaction that she proposes in this way of thinking, that is, acting and carrying out a series of tasks that prevent avoidance.
