Vivo Newsletter | Suffering children, immature parents

This text belongs to the Vivo newsletter, which is sent every Saturday.

Oliver Thansan
Oliver Thansan
03 May 2024 Friday 16:35
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Vivo Newsletter | Suffering children, immature parents

This text belongs to the Vivo newsletter, which is sent every Saturday. If you want to receive it, sign up here.

A week of designated dates and demands ends. To begin with, the almost universal Worker's Day, from which it can be concluded that the mobilizations that come from now on will be proposed to advance issues such as the reduction of the working day and the implementation of teleworking, in regression since the end of the pandemic. We have also celebrated World Day against Bullying, a scourge that continues year after year and that sometimes tends to be underestimated. And we finish, tomorrow, with the very international Mother's Day, although the chosen date varies depending on the country.

The so-called bullying is one of the great difficulties of our days to provide children with an adequate climate for their development. But a favorable environment depends on the conditions that children find in their own home. The degree of maturity of the parents is very important but also the level of complicity of the couple. It is known that conflict between parents ends up harming children, but new studies have shown, as Mayte Rius explains, that the better the relationship between parents, the more the mental health of minors is protected.

● The most complaining generation? Many parents of Generation Z children, but also teachers and professionals who deal with them, perceive that their pain threshold is lower. They say that they complain about any discomfort, no matter how slight, and that at the slightest sign of a cold they ask for leave. But the experts consulted by Antonio Ortí in this report detract from these subjective impressions. People always see the generations that follow us as more complaining, they say. The pain is the same, then and now, but they admit that young people experience it in a more emotional and erratic way.

● It takes its toll on us as adults. The title of the article by Víctor Endrino, from the RAC1 digital editorial team, says it all: 'Growing up with immature parents: a trauma that carries over and manifests itself in adulthood.' It is worth understanding the four types of immaturity profiles: the supermotivated, the passive, the rejecting and the emotional.

● The red lines of discussions. Although many parents try to avoid arguing in front of their children, others consider that conflict is part of life and that airing disagreements with your partner can have an educational point. Of course, there are barriers that should never be crossed because then it can cause discomfort in the family that will have long-term consequences. This is how Eva Millet, the specialist in Vivo's Moms and Dads section, analyzes it.

● Why life is worth living. It is told by Martín Clancy, a philosopher who has an incredible personal story, which is summarized in his ten suicide attempts. The best thing is that from his hardships he has been able to extract lessons that he now shares to teach why life is worth living. In the book How not to end it all, the promoter in the United States of the helpline for those who have suicidal thoughts discovers how self-destruction mechanisms work. Begoña Gómez Urzaiz narrates his journey and outlines his argument for the resistance.

● Mother's Day. Tomorrow, Sunday, is this date marked for most families despite its commercial origin. In this digital age, there are things that do not change, such as social pressure to be a mother, which can be more powerful than the biological clock. Yes, profound transformations are noted in the way of blurring the privacy of children, reaching the point of using them as a mark of prestige by parents. But technology also helps a lot, as our collaborator Abril Phillips tells us through her experience as a new mother.

● This is how our brain works. Scientific communicator Elías Azulay reflects in this interview with our collaborator Camila Beraldi about how difficult it is to get to know ourselves and take advantage of our potential. In the book I am your brain, nice to meet you, Azulay shows how we build emotions and how we can learn to manage them.

● What you have to have. This week I finished reading the book Beyond. It is written by a British despite the fact that it narrates the great epic of the Soviet Union's space race. It is the equivalent, on the Russian side, of the great report What You Have to Have, by Tom Wolfe, one of the fathers of the new journalism. It may seem like an anachronistic work, a vestige of the Cold War, but Stepehn Walker carries out a brilliant investigation of the clandestine heroes who went to space, including Yuri Gagarin, the first human to see the planet beyond the atmosphere and who succumbed. to the fame and pressure of the Soviet system.

● Weights to empower yourself. Tomorrow we will publish a report on Live about how women are occupying spaces in gyms that were previously only frequented by men. They recognize themselves as 'gym sis', gym sisters, and give each other support to dare to normalize the use of weights and strength exercises, which were previously a male preserve. As indicated by the author of the report, Mónica Santiago, an intern at our channel, sometimes machismo surfaces and uncomfortable situations occur.

● Classics for the future. “He who suffers before what is necessary, he suffers more than is necessary.” This phrase that many psychologists would sign today is originally from Seneca. I found it on @estoicoesp, an Instagram account that has no waste and that invites you to reflect on the value of classical thinking to face current problems. Diario Estoico also posts interventions like this one by Mario Alonso Puig, in Pedro Vivar's Emotion Me podcast, where he teaches to clearly differentiate between pain and suffering.