Parents do not want their children to suffer because of technology. Their experience of childhood and adolescence is of no use to them because the digital world had not emerged then as it does today. And as the president of the Catalan Society of Pediatrics, Anna Gatell, expresses, “we are all learning.”
But these parents observe how the virtual world eats up space in the in-person world and fear that children and adolescents, who are growing, will get lost along the way. For this reason, and in the heat of news about cyberbullying, pornography, addictions, an increase in behavioral disorders, eating disorders and suicide, they propose establishing a social contract by which the first mobile phone is not given before turning 16 years old. The fuse was lit in Poblenou and has already spread throughout the peninsula.
Is banning the solution? What is the ideal age? At 12, 14, 16? What do teenagers gain and what do they lose? And the parents? Can you be a teenager today without a cell phone? La Vanguardia has consulted several experts in the world of adolescence.
They agree on the substance of the issue: the use of mobile phones is excessive by children and adults, regulation of time and spaces and parental control is necessary.
And that the proposed ban is a desperate cry from parents in the face of the impotence of the digital world. But “Dead the dog, dead the rabies?” asks Josep Lluís Matalí, a child psychologist and expert in addictions. “I think addressing a complex and deep problem with simple answers is a mistake.”
Being a teenager today is more difficult than a few years ago, just as it is being a father, he believes. It does not avoid the risks of technologies, knowing that more connection time increases the possibilities of consequences.
“But be careful, not everyone is an addict. They may misuse or consume a lot of time with screens, but being addicted is a serious chronic disorder that is cured with abstinence and can be reactivated immediately,” points out the head of psychology at Sant Joan de Déu. “The cell phone is not the heroine of the 21st century, nor is it comparable to alcohol or tobacco because, unlike them, it does not kill and has advantages.”
You just have to ask young people who already have a cell phone. “I love discovering music, I can't live without it,” explains Iago (20 years old and with a cell phone since he was 12). “I have learned English thanks to the videos and Google gives me an immediate answer to any questions I have,” he continues.
“I am in contact with my friends and I can connect with someone when I feel bad. And we have all learned to be critical of TikTok or to be in WhatsApp groups. At first they were chaos. Now, we never express political opinions or call anyone negatively in public.”
“Learning is the key,” says Pepe Menéndez, a teacher for four decades. “It's not all or nothing.” It is not an age, because not everyone matures the same. And some live in a town and others in a big city. They have different social environments. And parents may want to contact them if they leave school and go to a friend's house, if the doctor's appointment has been cancelled, if they feel unwell.
“If you prohibit, you don't need to have an educational criterion and if there is no criterion, there is no learning. It is true that as a parent you save yourself conflict in the short term, but you do not educate him,” she points out.
Adolescence is also what happens in the virtual world in which a digital identity is built. For Menéndez, the support of minors in all their dimensions is important and he believes that, to combat a possible dependence on screens, we must offer company and complementary face-to-face activities (sports, arts, games, friendships). And regulate times, spaces and accessibility to certain content.
“Let's all lower the souffle together,” Matalí proposes. Give the mobile phone depending on the child's maturity, control applications, limit the time and apply partial supervision. “Now, we have to recover dinners and, above all, after-meals,” Matalí recommends.
“Rather than prohibiting, let's demand a calmer life to be able to raise our children, to be able to take an interest in their lives, help them manage any discomfort and reflect with them (also on how to have a healthier relationship with technology). Let's also leave the cell phone behind because we must recognize that we have hyper-naturalized it."
Consider that the current time pushes towards acceleration, individualism and immediacy and there is less depth in relationships. "Let's demand a slow life and demand regulations from technology companies to protect minors."
For the psychologist, technology is a measure of discomfort, especially loneliness, but it does not cause the underlying problem.
“In my highly complex unit, adolescents are referred by other psychologists. Only 2 in 10 have a dependency problem. The others abuse the screens due to a sea of background that, by the way, they have experienced alone because adults have not perceived it.”
