Imma Marín is one of the leading gaming experts in Spain. The author of various books on games in business and education, she expresses that she felt the desire to write for families. “As a grandmother, I spend many hours in the parks and I see parents so disoriented, stressed and with so little desire to play that I feel sorry for them and for the children. I see them absorbed in their cell phones and it makes me want to tell them to enjoy their little children: they grow up very quickly,” she explains. The longing for the game, he continues, comes out in all the parents' meetings, a nostalgia for being a child again, and that is exactly what parenting allows, to play like children again and, on top of that, without ceasing to be adults to the children. that they drool to see their children play. “That's why I wrote this book,” she confesses. Play (Paidós) is a guide, structured by age. “I hope the Three Wise Men turn off cell phones so that families can play more.”
We are in the midst of a debate about the use of mobile phones at school. Are you in favor of restricting it?
Until the age of 16 or 14, as many experts recommend, children should not have their own cell phone, because they will hardly have the necessary self-control to manage it. Thus, the debate should no longer reach school. In schools there are other screens in case they need them. Furthermore, the cell phone perverts yard time that should be used to socialize. I would also listen to the students. Now, this is a debate for adults too. The cell phone is used constantly, even in meetings.
And screens at home?
This is the chapter that has cost me the most to write because, paraphrasing Carles Capdevila, I don't want to be either paranoid or foolish. It is clear that from 0 to 3 years, zero screens. Hearing a voice from a screen is not the same as hearing that of mom or dad. Touching an object, noticing its volume, roughness or its smell is not the same as seeing it on a tablet. And neurologists warn of the harm.
And then?
The game allows you to grow in a healthy way. It is our way of understanding the world. A baby doesn't know what her mother's name is, if she is smart, tall, pretty. But he recognizes her among a thousand because he has played with her. Screens can enrich the play that is already common in a family, but if it is not part of that family's relationship, there is a risk that it will steal quality time. If we eat and have dinner watching TV, each one with their cell phone on the table, if the children lock themselves in the screens, and go to their room, and we are already doing well... all those microdecisions that we make, affect to your well-being. Now, there are very creative video games. I am more concerned about cell phones and social networks.
And the fear of gambling or porn?
Everything that comes to us through our mobile phone is designed to capture our attention and encourage us to consume it. We must be aware of this and ask that children be legislated and protected. And communicate with the children to be able to accompany them.
Can we go back to the time when there were no screens and children played all day?
That time passed and not only because of the screens. Before it was played in the street, with brothers or cousins. Children occupied public space. Parents, especially mothers, were more present because – unfortunately – they did not work. Now meetings with other children must be planned, and leisure must “serve” something. Diaries fill up with extracurricular activities and the time to play freely, with friends or alone, shrinks. We forget that the game is an end in itself, not a means to achieve anything. Our role is to create the conditions for it to happen and trust in your abilities to know what interests you.
Do you think mental health would improve if there were more free play?
When a child stumbles around his doll pretending to rush to the pediatrician, he is probably reproducing the abuse that he has felt when forced to do so. Free play is that I take this here and pretend that they are little meals and I do what I want. I invent the world in my own way (and I don't just imitate it). Or I run away from the parents. I make active what I have lived passively and thus reinterpret it and free myself. That's mental health. The human being needs to play his fears, his desires, his concerns. By the way, children play fewer physical activity games than before.
The Three Wise Men will bring many games and toys. The desire for children to play has not been lost.
And that's very good. But be careful with accumulating and accumulating. Too many toys kills the desire to play. We have to clean up, like we do with outgrown clothes, and leave only what is age appropriate.
Competing games?
At young ages, up to 4 or 5 years old, they are not prepared. But as they grow it is very healthy because it allows them to learn to get frustrated at something they can tolerate. Games cause conflicts and you learn to solve them. Also to submit to rules, to respect them. It allows you to then understand democracy, for example. Of course, as an adult, you have to be able to sustain that conflict and admit that one of the children may get angry because of losing or because of the slowness of another. And he may leave the game. This winning and losing does not only occur in board games, but also in symbolic play because one child has one idea to play and another, another. And you have to agree. And it happens that, after the pact, it is no longer a win or lose. They have both won. Of course, to reach these agreements, children need time, one of the most beautiful gifts we can offer them.
