25. december 2018 was NOVA-host Christina Sander mother for the first time, when she and her boyfriend became parents to a boy, which they gave the name Marlon.
But becoming a mother has been far from a bed of roses for Christina Sander.
she says, in a brutally honest posting on Instagram.
Show this posting on Instagram
I then #lortemor on @dr1tv the other day, a programme about how easy it is, to feel like a bad mother, and I have not been able to get my thoughts and feelings at a distance ago. I'm afraid that I haven't been honest enough. I have kept all the ugly hidden, and I have not done enough to break the illusion. But the last thing I want, is to contribute to a picture postcard which is at best just misleading, but in the worst case get new mothers to feel inept. The truth is that it took me a very long time to feel comfortable in the role. It took me a long time to accept kontroltabet, and it took me a long time to really love Marlon. I had so much pain breastfeeding at the beginning, I regretted we had ever had a baby. And it came I said to Marlon, since he was quite tiny. It I can never forget, that I said to him. I also heckled him because he would not sleep, and I've been crying mascara-tears down on his pillow and left marks that I still can't hold out to look at today, because it reminds me of how much I lost their temper. I've been afraid to share the hard truth, because I do not believe others are seeing it to get a child in the same way. I fear what people will think about me, instead of to remind myself, that I could have helped others in the same boat with to feel less lonely in it. For with to the truth, hear also, that you are not a ‘lortemor’ because you cry, yell, and lose your head once in a while. You are a human being, just like me, and I know that I - in spite of everything - has been, and is, the world's best #mother.
the Advertisement she has shared, after she has seen the documentary series 'Lortemor' on the DR, where a number of women tell about the difficult experiences and negative thoughts they have had, in connection with it to be become a mother.
And just the feelings know Christina Sander also. the
'the Truth is that it took me a very long time to feel comfortable in the role. It took me a long time to accept kontroltabet, and it took me a long time to really love Marlon. I had so much pain breastfeeding at the beginning, I regretted we had ever had a baby. And it came I said to Marlon, since he was quite tiny. It I can never forget, that I said to him. I have also spoken of him, because he would not sleep, and I've been crying mascara-tears down on his pillow and left marks that I still can't hold out to look at today, because it reminds me of how much I lost their temper', she writes.
Christina Sander is especially known as a host on radio NOVA. Photo: Private
the Extra Leaf telling Christina Sander, to the documentary on DR aroused a feeling in her that she could not ignore.
- In the program, I could recognize many of the thoughts that one of the girls in the program describes. She was cross-border honest, and I was inspired by. When you sit with taboo thoughts, it is difficult to assess whether this is something others would have the benefit of hearing, or just because, you are a bad mother. For so little, that talked about those things. In the program says this woman, that she has felt a hatred for his son, and I am thinking that there are others who can recognize out there - including myself, and it would have helped me to know that there were others that felt the same way, she says honestly.
Danish well-known - 5. jan. 2020 - pm. 20:47 - My mother had no use for, that I forgave her
According to Christina Sander fought she even with the many difficult and negative feelings when Marlon was a newborn.
When he came.... It was not because I did not love him. But I was so worn out and tired, and I was unprepared for the responsibility that came with having a child. It is here to be able to eat when I wanted, watch Netflix and sleep in the couch when I would. Suddenly I was completely subject to his needs, and it was too much for me, " she says, and continues:
- The first six weeks, I had major problems with breastfeeding that I was about to give up. Someone is doing it smoothly, but we had many problems. Not enough milk, mastitis, sutteteknik. Everything was wrong. You should have food in the small child, and it was so hard. I dreaded every time he woke up, because he had to eat. Marlon was connected with so many negative emotions - pain, udkørthed, anxiety. I didn't know what I should do.
Christina Sander will with its lookups like breaking a taboo. Photo: Private
Christina Sander was according to her not good to ask for help from family and friends.
I pretended that everything was okay. I was not asking for help from family, health visitor or other. But it was not okay. A day where I had to go down and retrieve the take-away, I cried completely uninhibited all the way out on the street. I was completely paralysed. Having a child was a completely different unpredictability than I had thought.
According to Christina Sander began her thoughts to turn, as she got easier to breastfeed.
- Each time I had to breastfeed him, curved I the toes and cried him down in the head. It was terrible. But after six-eight weeks I started to look brighter on it, because it went forward. The more successes I had, the better it was, " she says, and continues:
- Now I'm in a completely different place. Now I feel, like a fucking boss mother. Now I have no doubt that I am the best mother for him. I have got big self-assurance in the role. I am not gripped by the sense of powerlessness. I don't have a black cloud over me that makes me cry all the time more.
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For Christina Sander, it helped to talk with friends and family who also have tried bagsiderne of life as a parent.
It dawned on me, that it is perfectly normal. But when you sit in it, you feel that you are bad as a mother, and that one is the only one on Instagram and other places, one can see that the other is doing 100 times better. I thought it was because I did not do it as well, but it is not. It is because people don't talk about it.
- Why has it been important for you to share it here lookup?
- I have even helped to create a picture postcard, even though I know that many mom follows me. I thought that I would break the picture postcard, when I was pregnant. I have not been good enough for it. I was too scared to see what people would think about me. I might have gotten it look easy, but it was not, says Christina Sander, who has received loads of positive reactions for her lookup.
- It is wonderful. I am glad that I will be heard and received in a way where I will not be stigmatized. I feel that it will be taken a step further, and maybe I can help others. Maybe there are new mothers out there who need to hear it. The feeling I would also like to have had. I hope that it may help someone to lower your shoulders and think that they are good enough, and that it can help to break it here is taboo.
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According to Christina Sander is that she gradually come to a realization, why it is to be a mother for her led to a series of bad feelings and thoughts.
- I have even thought much about how I ended up in the emotions. I have always been very perfectionistic. Very well prepared and has got 12 for my exams. It was the same way, I grabbed the pregnancy and the birth of an. I went to prenatal care, ammeforberedelser, I read in ammebøger, and then came Marlon, and then I was just completely lost. For no matter what you have done, who you have spoken with, and how many courses you have taken, you are not prepared, " she says, and continues:
- There were many, who said to me that it is not certain that you love his child from the first day, and that it was perfectly normal. I thought that it was not me, and that I would 'naile' it. But that is how it was not, and I have learned to accept.