If there is something that changes with maternity and paternity, both in its modalities and in its frequency, it is sexual activity. Finding the right time, beating exhaustion, finding new ways to relate intimately and maintaining desire can be a difficult task, but not impossible. There are strategies so that the passion does not die out after the arrival of a child and it is a daily task to concentrate on them.
Although "sexual desire fluctuates and varies not only throughout life but day by day, mapaternity is a milestone that usually affects our sexuality," explains Flori Berrade, transfeminist psychologist and sexologist to Clarín. This not only responds to the fact that the desire is not the same, she points out, but also because "there is another human being who demands a lot of time and energy", issues that are subtracted, for example, from sexuality.
In this context, it should be noted that if the necessary connection is not achieved for a certain time, it does not mean that it has finished. "The idea is to plan moments of intimacy, taking into account that intimacy and sex are not synonymous with intercourse or penetration," emphasizes the expert.
Berrade mentions that while sons and daughters are young, "the quintessential time to have sex is usually when they sleep." However, he clarifies that "if the children sleep in the same bed, this option is cancelled."
“Sexuality needs moments of privacy and intimacy. In addition, it would not be correct to expose someone to a sexual situation, unless it is an adult who can give their consent to participate while being present, ”says the expert.
Within this framework, the specialist reiterates that it is important to take all these measures so as not to expose children to adult sexuality. However, if your child surprises you in a situation of a sexual nature, you must respond clearly and without avoiding the situation.
“For everything related to sexuality, it is recommended that children ask the questions first, to find out how far they have seen, what they thought and, above all, how much they want and need to know about it. It is important to be able to share with them that what they saw is an intimate, beautiful and pleasant moment”, emphasizes Berrade.
Romina Barraza, clinical sexologist and human sexuality educator (on Instagram, @drabarrazasexualidades), recommends the following strategies for having sex after pregnancy.
