I don't know if I should write in this Internet. But, dear reader, with me, you can make it. I'm nice. I always see so many of my texts require a rather not nice Narrative, I love malicious sense of Humor – I am also quite well-fortified, but basically, you can be sure that once you are my friend or my girlfriend, I'll probably like even if you feed screws my Hamster on purpose with a bunch of and Small from the Inside bled to death.
I mean, well, I'm not going to hug you in the Moment. I'm not gonna be proud of you. I'll even run around and scream. But if you explain comprehensibly and in detail, how it happened, and I'll forgive you expected. I live in the urgent assumption that the way people treat me has to do, in most cases, nothing to do with me, but almost exclusively with themselves and the way they perceive me, which is also usually the kind of congruent, and how I perceive myself.
But well, what else, and for a self-zutreff more than one's own self-image one has.
a few days Ago, I was rereading David Foster Wallace's Essay "This Is Water". He wrote that the highest Form of education is empathy, i.e. the ability to be able to its from the factory-set self-centered perspective to overcome.
As an example, he took in about the following everyday situation: When you stand after a long, the rank and file of the working day in a traffic jam, you should think: "you idiots take it away from ME now my precious evening time!" But try to think like this: "Well, as if the others have now located all the whole day reading in bed. Which is also not better than me! In case of doubt, probably even worse, because maybe you have a spouse to drive you to the hospital. Or just the spouse. Is enough sometimes.“ And then just giggle.
Empathic people interact so quite nice. But this "Nice" a better life? You can be to forgive or to be compassionate? Look people, if you are not sufficiently evil? I did not know for a very long time, whom should I call this topic. Found an empathy researchers, quite suitable. Fritz Breithaupt, he is.
He immediately said, who is empathic, the experience is always also a loss of Self. Then, when he's in the skin of the other houses. In the world of fiction this is, of course, very useful, if not essential, but in the real world you have to be careful, to whom you forgive or be compassionate in the duty of issuing the bonds.
In the best case, I said, surrounding it is just the same, if only with nice people. As long as everything is based on reciprocity, in device Yes none in permanently Unpleasant. Yes, said Mr. Breithaupt, when the works time. Because often it is so that there is a gap, one is more compassionate than the other. He reminded then of the marriage in the 19th century. Century, in which the woman was subordinate of man, as a quasi-empathic Add-On.
The man, Breithaupt, in principle, be happy to empathy ready, but usually only if he knew in advance, as long as its use is required. For a time, a man could not set back his own interests, but permanently. Because there is a phenomenon of empathy,-Burn-out could be called.
studies have shown that young Doctors and female Doctors received mostly to professional beginning is very empathetic to your patients, which have a positive impact on this, because of an empathetic doctor prescribed medicine you take regularly. However, Doctors were unable to resist the empathy. They blunted. And insular – out of self-protection. So, in the end, I concluded it makes sense, if one takes between the contacts with the outside world a lot of time for himself and his own needs.
Mr. Breithaupt pondered, meanwhile, and then said, that scene in the traffic jam, the Foster Wallace describe in the Essay, the telling not so much of compassion, but much more of handling. Not to honk, to jostle, all of which have a lot more to do with courtesy. To come by the way everywhere better through life. And with empathy? Leads to a more compassionate and forgiving person now an easier or a harder life?
Breithaupt does not pondered for a long time. He said something that left me no more questions open: "man, who does a great deal of sympathy for the motives of his fellow man, has no easy life, but a richer, because he part of that to the emotions and inner worlds of other people. It can be easier to foreclose in the highest heights, but also easier in the deeper Depths than that.“