Four years ago, in 2018, Valentina Berr became the first transsexual soccer player in Catalonia. Since her debut at Terrassa she has gone through Levante Las Planas and Europa, a club in which she has competed for the last two seasons, achieving promotion to the Second Division this last year. But the soccer player from Ripollet will not be able to enjoy the silver category because today, coinciding with the International LGTBI Pride Day, she has announced that she is withdrawing from it. She has done it through an emotional and vindictive message on social networks in which she makes it clear that it is not a voluntary decision: "I don't hang up my boots, they hang them up for me".
The 29-year-old footballer has attended La Vanguardia in an interview in which she denounces the transphobia to which she has been subjected, but also appreciates the affection she has found in the world of women's football.
Since I started playing football, it was clear to me that I was going to suffer a lot of violence. She had already suffered it before playing, and she knew that sport was and is one of the sources of violence for trans women. That's why I decided at the time not to make public appearances when they asked me to. I just wanted to enjoy sports like any other colleague without being a media focus of anything. Even so, I was, I suffered a lot of violence, both from institutions, from the media and from many people on the networks and even on the street.
Why has he put up with all this transphobia until now?
I put up with it because when you are so out of the norm, sometimes it is difficult to delegate this burden to the rest, because you do not trust whether they will be able to bear it, or whether they will continue by your side. I've had a hard time forming strong bonds with people I trust with these vulnerabilities. And now that I can't take it anymore, I have decided not only to leave it, and take care of myself, but also to denounce this violence so that it is known what some women in sports suffer, especially so that the new generations find a path that is somewhat less hostile.
What has changed today for me to say 'enough'?
That my body and my mind said enough. This last year has been especially hard, not only because of everything I said but also because of the pressure inherent in competitive sport, since we were playing for winning the League and we were taking it very seriously. In April, when the match in which we achieved that goal ended, I exploded. In the following days there were anxiety attacks, panic attacks, the depression that I have been dragging for more than 4 years shot up... everything. And I had to stop. Since then I have been away from the dynamics of the team, although I have waited until I had the strength to communicate it in public.
In your farewell you speak very highly of the women's football environment, have you felt integrated and accompanied?
The people who make up women's football are diverse, and we recognize ourselves in that diversity. There are forty thousand things to improve, we must learn to deconstruct our racism, our contempt for female referees and their ability to do their job (as if we players did everything right), fatphobia,... However, despite having all these duties on the table, the overwhelming majority of my colleagues and rivals have not only treated me like one more, but sometimes they have even cared about my specific needs if there were any at any time, they have shown me their support in public and in private, and they have contributed to the fact that it has cost me a little less to be part of this. I am very grateful for all of them.
Are clubs ready to have trans players?
Look, when I debuted in 2018, I was in the media spotlight, they talked about me even in Slovakia, as if I had achieved a great milestone. And the question I asked myself all the time was: Why doesn't anyone ask what is the reason that I am the first or the second? I know hundreds and hundreds of trans women and hardly any of them practice sports at the federated level. It is clear that there is a problem with that and until we study it we will not be able to face it. The clubs, like the federations, the technical bodies, the medical services, etc., need a lot of training in this regard in order to have the tools to successfully deal with a case of a trans player without her losing her guts in the attempt.
Is the key, then, in education?
I am lucky to have specialized in the matter and have resources, but not all trans women are scholars on gender issues. If someone tells you that you have to have genital surgery to be able to form part of a team normally (as happened to me) and you have no idea that this is not only false but also excessive violence, the most normal is that trans people end up either very annoyed, or dedicating themselves to something else. Even so, I must say that there is in general a good predisposition of the clubs to embrace this reality. The only thing missing is training and less restrictive regulations so that the accompaniment is as effective and careful as possible.
Does the regulation of the Catalan Federation oblige you to abide by certain hormonal controls?
No one has ever indicated them to me as such, I have always understood that they would be the ones commanded by the IOC, because the Football Association (which I understand is the highest international body that manages this) does not say it too clearly on its website either. In the first FCF medical check-ups, as I had just modified the registration mention of sex on the DNI, it was assumed that it was within the established hormonal values, because today the State forces you to take hormones for two years to be able to modify that . Therefore, nothing else was said to me. In the following medical check-ups, nobody told me anything about it, although I continued to do them on my own because I knew that if at any time they did one for me by federal decision (as has happened in other European countries), and I was not in the limits, they would prohibit me from playing.
When are these tests done?
These extraordinary checks are obviously only done under suspicion. That is, if you 'look trans', they assume that you can have X testosterone values, and therefore they select you to control you. Studies, however, warn that these limits are exceeded by many women who are not trans as well. It is a totally discriminatory measure towards certain types of women who are out of the norm, not only trans women, but also cis women who may have a less cisnormative appearance or considerable physical qualities.
Why do you think the world of women's football is so open and, on the other hand, the men's world is one of the most closed in terms of racism, homophobia...?
Soccer is a space hijacked by hegemonic masculinity. We have always been told that football is for men and men, and these men must comply with the mandate of hegemonic masculinity, they cannot even get out of the norm. That is why a successful ecosystem has been built around it, of extreme capitalism, of multi-million dollar contracts, of heroes, that is why it is the king of sports. Women's football, however, has been practiced above all by girls 'who did not behave like girls'. The tomboys, the dykes, the butches, the truckers. Not only, of course, but if you played soccer you were doing 'something of a man'. And doing 'something of a man', without being a man, is already breaking down barriers. Women's football is groundbreaking in itself, because it is built on breaking gender norms and their established roles. Here everyone can be whatever, we don't care if you're female or male, lesbian, bisexual or straight. Even if you are a trans guy. It is the space of dissidence.
Now that you have retired, what future plans do you have?
For now, rest a bit, because they have been exhausting years. Although for a few months I have been immersed in a project to spread trans and LGBTI realities called The Response to Everything, in which we bring our daily lives closer to the people who are part of the group and also (above all!) to those who are not , who are the most interested in immersing themselves and understanding everything better. Even so, I invite all the institutions that wish to work on protocols for action and prevention of violence against trans people in sports to contact us through the project or myself, it is urgent to establish lines of action that address the real problems of sport around trans people. And that would be all. Pedagogy is one of the paths, at least it is the one I have the energy to take on.
