"Please, no sex, we are British"

The English poet Philip Larkin (1922-1985) lamented in Annus mirabilis, one of his most famous poems, that he was born too early to enjoy as he would have liked the sexual revolution that broke out in his country in 1963, the year of the Beatles' first album and the end of the prohibition of Lady Chatterly's Lover, the hitherto considered lurid novel by D.

NewsEditor
NewsEditor
21 May 2022 Saturday 22:06
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"Please, no sex, we are British"

The English poet Philip Larkin (1922-1985) lamented in Annus mirabilis, one of his most famous poems, that he was born too early to enjoy as he would have liked the sexual revolution that broke out in his country in 1963, the year of the Beatles' first album and the end of the prohibition of Lady Chatterly's Lover, the hitherto considered lurid novel by D. H. Lawrence; and he could have added the scandal -rather scandal- Profumo.

In addition, the unstoppable journey of the contraceptive pill had just begun in Great Britain, and later, in 1967, the decriminalization of homosexuality would be approved. In other words, the British experienced an unprecedented social transformation throughout the 1960s, although perhaps it was not as profound as it seemed at first or that people wanted to believe.

In 1971, Please, No Sex, We're British, was released in London, and two years later the film based on that play, a comedy of intrigues about the unshakable national dislike, in matters of sex, to call things by his name, as well as a marked fondness for dissimulation. And it is that not even the new freedoms could rival the pleasures provided, at least among initiates, by the traditional English discipline.

After half a century everything is still where it was, as evidenced by the recent case known as pornogate starring the Conservative MP Neil Parish, who was forced to resign after being caught, on more than one occasion, looking at pornography on his mobile during debates parliamentarians.

Parish's resignation came in the wake of another scandal that also took place in Parliament, this time involving a deputy, Labor's number two, Angela Rayner, who was accused of crossing and uncrossing her legs a la Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct during the debates, with the perverse purpose of distracting the attention of the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, while he addressed the House. What an occurrence, with how distracted the premier is.

The British ruling class, with a certain preponderance among the Conservative ranks, seems to have no amendment on questions of sex. There are countless cases of extramarital affairs, of deputies caught in the company of prostitutes or in full practice of some unspeakable sexual perversion. Sexism, misogyny and the most rancid machismo are the order of the day. Come on, your British ladies and gentlemen, they are so conceited, they would not last even five minutes in the Spanish Congress of Deputies.

The curious thing about the case is that the British of the 21st century are still -or pretend to be- as prudish as their Puritan ancestors, simply because it turns them on. An affair with a young actress is enough to ruin a politician's career, as Tory Minister of Culture (national heritage) David Mellor did in 1992 when he revealed to the ruthless tabloids how much he liked sucking on the young woman's toes. . When former Culture Minister Jack Lang found out about Mellor's fall from grace, he dropped this pearl: “An affair with an actress? If it is not for another thing that one gets to be Minister of Culture”. French had to be.

In short, what endures against all odds is a monumental hypocrisy. Many of the scandals that have filled so many pages of the tabloids are, deep down, immensely sad. The shattered protagonists are sad. More than one has been lynched and his life and that of his family ruined without evidence or mercy. There have been illegal wiretaps, false accusations, suicides and worse.

Philip Lakin, a shy man with a serious face, very fond of spanking (spanking administered, usually to the buttocks, for erotic purposes), should not worry about having missed the train of the sexual revolution that started in 1963, especially in view of how they still spend them in Westminster.

When on May 10 Prince Charles opened the parliamentary year in the absence of his mother, surely more than one -and not only British- remembered the message that the heir to the throne sent to Camila, his future wife, in which he confessed his vocation to become his tampax. Or his little brother, the (ex) Prince Andrew who has just paid… Well, why go on?


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