I was about to grab two friends by the neck this Monday when I saw that they left me alone with the pochas in the Gorria in Barcelona. The blood did not reach the river: we share the caviar from the garden, now that it is season.
What is happening to us men at the table? Are we fools? Has the pot gone?
I already understand –you can call me macho, meringue or barojiano– that women ask for light dishes. Of those typical of "healthy food". It is enough to step into a residence to see how few men reach the privilege!
The masculinity of the 21st century requires redesigning the identity and, incidentally, saying amen to things about which you would disagree but do not even dare to comment. I am willing, for example, not to open my mouth about Rocío Carrasco, who reigns on Telecinco, elevated to a feminist icon as soon as she tweeted on a set about her today liquidated ex.
What I am not willing to accept is sharing a table with friends who stammer squeamishly and do not ask for what they really want, overwhelmed by the weight of an imposed guilt, perceptible in the alibis: the paunch, the monastic health or those inadvisable readings such as the lists of foods to avoid, including jewels such as beans, stews to spread on bread and desserts that I would not share even if they kill me (fried milk, rice pudding, stale French toast...).
Intransigence? And a lot. Intransigence to turn meals among friends into a demonstration of sensitivity, health and moderation. The cool thing for romantic dates! It hurts me that esteemed people are left with the desire to enjoy this or that dish. Why do we like to meet up with friends? To talk about the IPC, the Midcat or the sadness of Unamuno in Paris? We are left to officiate a liturgy without sins or sinners, where everything can be immoral, incorrect and improper without anyone scolding you: good food, which exalts friendship.
Thank God, my friends are unscrupulous people who skip whatever they have to skip – including pocket – when we share a table. Lest they serve us quinoa salad in heaven...