Tomorrow is the so-called Father's Day -the patriarch, come on-, the perfect excuse to inflict a hostile gift on him, either in the form of "experience", a gift that highlights his condition as a quirk -a pair of diamond socks, for example- or remember your shortcomings.
The advantage of giving something to a non-pregnant parent is that eight is the same as eighty. The advantage of not giving him something is exactly the same. Hence the convenience of taking advantage of the festivity to get you out of your comfort zone.
Does your father smoke? In this case, not a box of Monte Cristo is required – it would be his thing – but a pharmacological treatment to stop the habit.
Are you fond of old music and have a sleeping partner? Nothing like an electrifying surprise. The Pimpinela duo –yes, they live, like those from the Andes– celebrates an unrepeatable concert on October 3 –hopefully– at the Coliseum in Barcelona to celebrate 40 years of their career (it falls on a Tuesday but Barça will already be eliminated from the Champions League) . Cool Pimpernel with mom, huh dad?
Does the patriarch cook, but always the same? His thing would be a good recipe book – The wonderful world of cauliflower –, an Andean cooking workshop or a kit to make sashimi of fighting bull criadillas.
Do you snore on the couch on Sunday afternoons? As a revulsion, an ideal gift for his personal growth would be to give him a registration on Tinder, with a frontal photo taken in Lloret de Mar, summer of 1986, together with a page with affiliate advice on the application: "Dad, do not run!".
Stern parent? A police report from the Villarejo factory – their work has dropped –, authenticated by a former janitor from the Ministry of the Interior, who meticulously reconstructs his bachelor party with unpublished testimonies. If ordered in time, the man (Villarejo) will add audio and photographs (with or without pixelation).
And if there is no gift, nothing happens. The patriarchs are good-natured and a "I love you even though I hide it" is enough for them. Or that they serve them a sandwich to watch the classic in peace...