Does your husband grunt when he goes to his parents' house for the Christmas feast back? Do you drink red wine excessively on your donkey and on the pretext of avoiding quarrels with the in-laws? Does he bring up the subject of the law of the only yes is yes before her sister, a voter for Podemos?
For an astronomical price to be agreed upon, I offer to host at home, between today and Monday, as many husbands – no “partners” are allowed – who bother at the table of the so-called in-laws or fall asleep and are as if absent.
What need is there to drag the very pazguato being able to leave him in the home of a divorcee and in the company of other guys who break down before the in-laws or tend to establish comparisons? What is christmas? Precisely because it is Christmas, you have to get to the bottom of things and stop appearing.
You, dear reader, will gain peace of mind and will always be able to discuss with your sister, advise your father to do yoga –or to do something, in general, now that he is retiring– and remember Ricardito –a disgraceful boyfriend–, without fear of later polemics.
– I have argued with my sister? When?
If cats and dogs suffer at these holidays and it is convenient to give them love and space, how can a man not suffer in his mother-in-law's fiefdom! Hence the initiative to welcome these misfits for profit.
Although small, my divorced home has everything to make you feel Christmas and its spirit: ashtrays, stain removers, Alka Seltzer, internet connection with no content restriction, sofa to spread out, little table to put your feet up, open bar, flat screen with tumultuous analysis of Argentina-France, chorizo sandwiches and a cash prize – or a record anthology by José Luis Cantero, el Fary – for the best sexist joke.
And as if that were not enough, there is the option of returning them home by motorcycle or bicycle at the agreed time. After all, these are days –and nights– of peace, a state that some men do not quite reconcile with the in-laws, where they are loved like children.
Children of your mother and father!
